These Rooms

Optimism Heals

2011-05-17T18:23:00.005-04:00

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
--Doug Larson

"An optimistic outlook gives us energy to handle the harder things that we have to deal with. Research shows that people who have a positive attitude have a stronger immune system, are healthier, live longer, and are even more likely to recover from serious illness.

"To believe in hopeful outcomes is largely a matter of choice. Many of us have experienced big disappointments and defeats in life. But having come this far, we can look back and see that somehow we had the capacity to deal with it. The Second Step guides us to believe in hopeful possibilities. We can't say that things will always turn out just the way we hope, but that we can cope with whatever happens.

"Today I choose to believe that a power greater than myself can help me deal with life, and I have reason to be optimistic."

---from Today's thought from Hazelden from the book Wisdom to Know.

Travel with God's Eyes

2009-03-31T09:38:00.000-04:00

"Travelling - seeing new sights, hearing new music, and meeting new people - is exciting and exhilarating. But when we have no home to return to where someone will ask us, "How was your trip?" we might be less eager to go. Travelling is joyful when we travel with the eyes and ears of those who love us, who want to see our slides and hear our stories.

"This is what life is about. It is being sent on a trip by a loving God, who is waiting at home for our return and is eager to watch the slides we took and hear about the friends we made. When we travel with the eyes and ears of the God who sent us, we will see wonderful sights, hear wonderful sounds, meet wonderful people ... and be happy to return home."

---Henri Nouwen

To Watch Loneliness Vanish

2009-03-31T09:31:00.002-04:00

"Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn't quite belong. ? Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were noisy good fellows constantly craving attention and companionship, but rarely getting it. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand.

"That's one reason we loved alcohol too well. But even Bacchus betrayed us; we were finally struck down and left in terrified isolation."

<<< >>>

"Life takes on new meaning in A.A. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends--this is an experience not to be missed."

1. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 57
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 89

No Ordinary Success Story

2009-02-26T20:31:00.001-05:00

A.A. is no success story in the ordinary sense of the word. It is a story of suffering transmuted, under grace, into spiritual progress.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 35

Upon entering A.A. I listened to others talk about the reality of their drinking: loneliness, terror and pain. As I listened further, I soon heard a description of a very different kind--the reality of sobriety. It is a reality of freedom and happiness, of purpose and direction, and of serenity and peace with God, ourselves and others.

By attending meetings, I am reintroduced to that reality, over and over. I see it
in the eyes and hear it in the voices of those around me. By working the program I find the direction and strength with which to make it mine. The joy of A.A. is that this new reality is available to me.

from Daily Reflections copyright AAWS, Inc.

Focus on a Higher Power

2009-02-26T20:23:00.001-05:00

"'The Great Spirit is the one that's looking after us.'
--Jimmy Jackson, Ojibway

"The only place our minds can find peace is when our focus is on the Creator. Daily we need to ask the Creator to direct our thinking. When we look at our brothers and sisters, we need to see the Creator in them. When we look at the trees, plants and the animals, we need to realize the Creator is within us. Our attention needs to be on the Creator. When we work, we do it for the Creator. When we are troubled, we need to pray to the Creator. When we are happy and joyful, we need to realize we are feeling the presence of the Creator. Thinking God thoughts will produce peace.

"Oh Great Mystery, let me focus on You today."

From whitebison.org daily message.

Drinking Cuts, Recovery Heals

2009-01-30T10:16:00.003-05:00

"A drinking life isn't a happy life. Drinking cuts you off from other people and from God. One of the worst things about drinking is the loneliness. And one of the best things about A.A. is the fellowship. Drinking cuts you off from other people, at least from the people who really matter to you, your wife and children, your family and real friends. No matter how much you love them, you build up a wall between you and them by your drinking. You're cut off from any real companionship with them. As a result, you're terribly lonely. Have I got rid of my loneliness?

"Meditation For The Day

"I will sometimes go into a quiet place of retreat with God. In that place, I will find restoration and healing and power. I will plan quiet times now and then, times when I will commune with God and arise rested and refreshed to carry on the work which God has given me to do. I know that God will never give me a load greater than I can bear. It is in serenity and peace that all true success lies.

"Prayer For The Day

"I pray that I may strengthen my inner life, so that I may find serenity. I pray that my soul may be restored in quietness and peace."

24 Hours a Day meditation is copyright AAWS, Inc.

We Pause ... And Ask

2009-01-28T11:15:00.003-05:00

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful and ask for the right thought or action.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 87

Today I humbly ask my Higher Power for the grace to find the space between my impulse and my action; to let flow a cooling breeze when I would respond with heat; to interrupt fierceness with gentle peace; to accept the moment which allows judgment to become discernment; to defer to silence when my tongue would rush to attack or defend.

I promise to watch for every opportunity to turn toward my Higher Power for guidance. I know where this power is: it resides within me, as clear as a mountain brook, hidden in the hills -- it is the unsuspected Inner Resource.I thank my Higher Power for this world of light and truth I see when I allow it to direct my vision. I trust it today and hope it trusts me to make all effort to find the right thought or action today.

Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC. Daily Reflection

The 12 Steps We Arrived With

2009-01-28T11:13:00.001-05:00

1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone who would allow us.

2. We came to believe that there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.

3. We made a decision to have our loved ones turn their wills and their lives over to our care even though they couldn't understand us at all.

4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone we knew.

5. We admitted to the whole world the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.

6. We were entirely ready to make others give us the respect we deserved.

7. We demanded others do our will because we were always enlightened.

8. We made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any lengths to get even with them all.

9. We got direct revenge on such people wherever possible, except when to do so would cost us our lives or at the very least a jail sentence.

10. Continued to take inventory of others and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.

11. Sought through complaining and medication to improve our relations with others, as we would not understand them at all, asking only that they do things our way.

12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.

Step Worksheets

2009-01-14T10:04:00.002-05:00

First Step Worksheets, lead you through the First Step.
Adobe PDF format

Rich Text format

Fourth Step Worksheets, lead you through the Fourth Step.
Adobe PDF format

Rich Text format

from royy.com

Accepting Anger

2009-01-14T09:40:00.003-05:00

Anger is one of the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And we're going to feel it when it comes our way -- or else repress it.
--Codependent No More

If I were working a good program, I wouldn't get angry.... If I were a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry.... If I were really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry.... Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it.

In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it.

Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to.

Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

The Spiritual Work of Gratitude

2009-01-12T10:55:00.001-05:00

To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives-the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections-that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only truly grateful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for.

Let's not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God.

--Henri Nouwen

At a Turning Point

2009-01-08T14:47:00.003-05:00

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked for God's protection and care with complete abandon.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone.

At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.

Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing -- and able -- to change.

from Daily Reflection copyright AAWS Inc.

Check in with God

2008-12-03T17:17:00.003-05:00

"'The smarter a man is the more he needs God to protect him from thinking he knows everything.'
--George Webb, PIMA

'A spiritual person needs to be careful. The more confident we are, the more likely our egos will get us into trouble. It's relatively easy to become self-righteous. We start to think we are teachers and others are students. We start to judge others. We start, very subtlely at first, to play God. After a while we really get good at it. This is very dangerous. We need to remind ourselves, we are here to do God's will. We need to pray every morning. Each day we need to check in with God to see what He would have us do. At night we need to spend time with God and review our day. By doing these things, we will stay on track.

'My Creator, guide my path and show me how to correct my life."

Elder's Meditation of the Day from White Bison.

Open to Possibilities

2008-12-03T16:57:00.004-05:00

"'Perhaps for the first time, we see a vision of our new life.' Basic Text p. 34

'In our addiction, our vision of ourselves was very limited. Each day, we went through the same routine: getting, using, and finding ways and means to get more. And that's all we could reasonably expect for the duration of our lives. Our potential was limited.

'Today, our prospects are changed. Recovery has given us a new vision of ourselves and our lives. We are no longer trapped in the endlessly gray routine of addiction. We are free to stretch ourselves in new ways, trying out new ideas and new activities. In doing so, we come to see ourselves in a new way. Our potential is limited only by the strength of the Higher Power that cares for us-and that strength has no limits.

'In recovery, life and everything in it appears open to us. Guided by our spiritual principles, driven by the power given us by the God of our understanding, our horizons are limitless.

'Just for today: I will open my eyes to the possibilities before me. My potential is as limitless and as powerful as the God of my understanding.Today, I will act on that potential."

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.

Let Me Be Intimate

2008-11-22T09:19:00.003-05:00

"'It's the most precious thing...to know absolutely where you belong. There's a whole emotional wrapping-around-of-you here. You see the same rock, tree, road, clouds, sun -- you develop a nice kind of intimacy with the world around you. To be intimate is to grow, to learn...[it] is absolutely fulfilling. Intimacy, that's my magic word for why I live here.'
--Tessie Maranjo, SANTA CLARA PUEBLO

"Every human being, to be mentally healthy, must have the feeling of belonging. When we have a sense of belonging we can be intimate. We can feel. We can connect. If we cannot develop this feeling of belonging, then we will feel lost of disconnected. To be disconnected from life is like walking around during the day not knowing the Sun exists. To have the feelings of intimacy is warm, glowy, joyful, loving and connected. The feeling this Elder is talking about is available to everyone.

"Great Spirit, let me be intimate."

From White Bison

So Much Depends on My Attitude

2008-11-14T11:11:00.003-05:00

"Our...happiness...[is] not necessarily determined by what happens to us in our lives, but how we perceive what happens to us.

Life happens. It happens all day, every day, and there really isn't much we can do to stop it from doing so. With all of our interactions with other people, it's inevitable that someone, some time, is going to do something that hurts us in some way. Some things are going to happen that make it seem like the world is conspiring against us. But the important thing about that, of course, is how we perceive the occurrences, how we see what happens to us.

"If we take the world and its happenings with a grain of salt, we can keep in mind that things really aren't that bad, that everything is a matter of degree. In that perspective lies a realistic view of the world that can allow us to take the things that happen with a high degree of equanimity, with a pragmatism that tells us that yes, things may be going poorly, but life is a series of cycles, and things always come around for the better unless we don't allow them to do so. Many of us do, in fact, keep the better things from happening simply because we get so caught up in the bad things that we tend to perpetuate them in our lives, often unconsciously.

"You don't always have control over the occurrences of your life, but you most certainly do have control over your perspective, over how you see things. What are you going to do with that perspective--train it to see the positive side of everything, or allow it to drag you with it when it focuses only on the negative?...

"For further thought:

'Remember, a small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye and it puts everything out of focus. Hold it at proper viewing distance and it can be examined and classified. Throw it at your feet and see it in its true setting--just one more tiny bump on the pathway.'

--Barbara Johnson"

From Living Life Fully

Circle of Self-Examination, Prayer & Meditation

2008-11-13T14:42:00.002-05:00

"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 98

"If I do my self-examination first, then surely, I'll have enough humility to pray and meditate -- because I'll see and feel my need for them. Some wish to begin and end with prayer, leaving the self-examination and meditation to take place in between, whereas others start with meditation, listening for advice from God about their still hidden or unacknowledged defects. Still others engage in written and verbal work on their defects, ending with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving. These three -- self-examination, meditation and prayer -- form a circle, without a beginning or an end. No matter where, or how, I start, I eventually arrive at my destination: a better life."

from Daily Reflections
Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.

Surrender Leads to Acceptance

2008-11-13T14:31:00.005-05:00

"'We surrender quietly and let the God of our understanding take care of us.'
--Basic Text p. 26

"Surrender and acceptance are like infatuation and love. Infatuation begins when we encounter someone special. Infatuation requires nothing but the acknowledgement of the object of our infatuation. For infatuation to become love, however, requires a great deal of effort. That initial connection must be slowly, patiently nurtured into a lasting, durable bond.

"It's the same with surrender and acceptance. We surrender when we acknowledge our powerlessness. Slowly, we come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can give us the care we need. Surrender turns to acceptance when we let this Power into our lives. We examine ourselves and let our God see us as we are. Having allowed the God of our understanding access to the depths of ourselves, we accept more of God's care. We ask this Power to relieve us of our shortcomings and help us amend the wrongs we've done. Then, we embark on a new way of life, improving our conscious contact and accepting our Higher Power's continuing care, guidance, and strength.

"Surrender, like infatuation, can be the beginning of a lifelong relationship. To turn surrender into acceptance, however, we must let the God of our understanding take care of us each day.

"Just for today: My recovery is more than infatuation. I have surrendered."

Just For Today Daily Meditation
Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.

Maintain Contact with the Memory of the Pain

2008-11-10T10:01:00.002-05:00

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 24~

Pupils in the Great School of Life

2008-11-10T09:52:00.003-05:00

"I don't think happiness or unhappiness is the point. How do we meet the problems we face? How do we best learn from them and transmit what we have learned to others, if they would receive the knowledge?

"On my view, we of this world are pupils in a great school of life. It is intended that we try to grow, and that we try to help our fellow travelers to grow in the kind of love that makes no demands. In short, we try to move toward the image and likeness of God as we understand Him.

"When pain comes, we are expected to learn from it willingly, and help others to learn. When happiness comes, we accept it as a gift, and thank God for it."

Letter, 1950
from "As Bill Sees It"
Is Happiness The Goal?, p. 306

Ready to Serve

2008-08-25T09:16:00.003-04:00

"God is making use of you - you should be grateful He's found a use for you."
--Mathew King, LAKOTA

The Creator can only create through human beings. Each human being has a purpose given to us by the Creator. We are on this earth to fulfill this purpose. Our only work is to make ourselves ready, to become a channel, to perform for the Creator. We prepare ourselves by prayer. We prepare ourselves by becoming unselfish. We prepare ourselves by seeking and choosing to walk on a spiritual path. Each morning we look to the east and we say an honor prayer to the Creator. We offer our gifts: tobacco and corn. We ask him to help us do His will for today. In this simple way, we still fulfill our purpose. It should be an honor to serve the Creator.

Great Spirit, today I am ready to serve You.

Elder's Meditation of the Day - August 25 from White Bison

I Will Think Healing Thoughts

2008-08-18T09:46:00.003-04:00

When you feel anger or resentment, ask God to help you feel it, learn from it, and then release it. Ask God to bless those who you feel anger toward. Ask God to bless you too.

When you feel fear, ask God to take it from you. When you feel misery, force gratitude. When you feel deprived, know that there is enough.

When you feel ashamed, reassure yourself that who you are is okay. You are good enough.

When you doubt your timing or your present position in life, assure yourself that all is well; you are right where you're meant to be. Reassure yourself that others are too.

When you ponder the future, tell yourself that it will be good. When you look back at the past, relinquish regrets.

When you notice problems, affirm there will be a timely solution and a gift from the problem.

When you resist feelings or thoughts, practice acceptance. When you feel discomfort, know it will pass. When you identify a want or a need, tell yourself it will be met.

When you worry about those you love, ask God to protect and care for them. When you worry about yourself, ask God to do the same.

When you think about others, think love. When you think about yourself, think love.

Then watch your thoughts transform reality.

Today, I will think healing thoughts.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Walking Meditation

2008-08-18T09:28:00.003-04:00

by Sayadaw U. Pandita

During a retreat it is usual to alternate periods of sitting meditation with periods of formal walking meditation of about the same duration, one after another throughout the day. One hour is a standard period, but forty-five minutes can also be used. For formal walking, retreatants choose a lane of about twenty steps in length and walk slowly back and forth along it. In daily life, walking meditation can also be very helpful. A short period -- say ten minutes -- of formal walking meditation before sitting serves to focus the mind. Beyond this advantage, the awareness developed in walking meditation is useful to all of us as we move our bodies from place to place in the course of a normal day.

Walking meditation develops balance and accuracy of awareness as well as durability of concentration. One can observe very profound aspects of the Dhamma (wisdom or knowledge) while walking, and even get enlightened! In fact, a yogi who does not do walking meditation before sitting is like a car with a rundown battery. He or she will have a difficult time starting the engine of mindfulness when sitting.

Walking meditation consists of paying attention to the walking process. If you are moving fairly rapidly, make a mental note of the movement of the legs, "Left, right, left, right" and use your awareness to follow the actual sensations throughout the leg area. If you are moving more slowly, note the lifting, moving, and placing of each foot. In each case you must try to keep your mind on just the sensations of walking. Notice what processes occur when you stop at the end of the lane, when you stand still, when you turn and begin walking again.

Do not watch your feet unless this becomes necessary due to some obstacle on the ground; it is unhelpful to hold the image of a foot in your mind while you are trying to be aware of sensations. You want to focus on the sensations themselves, and these are not visual. For many people it is a fascinating discovery when they are able to have a pure, bare perception of physical objects such as lightness, tingling, cold, and warmth.

Usually we divide walking into three distinct movements: lifting, moving, and placing the foot. To support a precise awareness, we separate the movements clearly, making a soft mental label at the beginning of each movement, and making sure that our awareness follows it clearly and powerfully until it ends. One minor but important point is to begin noting the placing movement at the instant that the foot begins to move downward.

A New World in Sensations

Let us consider lifting. We know its conventional name, but in meditation it is important to penetrate behind that conventional concept and to understand the true nature of the whole process of lifting, beginning with the intention to lift and continuing through the actual process, which involves many sensations.

Our effort to be aware of lifting the foot must neither overshoot the sensation nor weakly fall short of this target. Precise and accurate mental aim helps balance our effort. When our effort is balanced and our aim is precise, mindfulness will firmly establish itself on the object of awareness. It is only in the presence of these three factors -- effort, accuracy, and mindfulness -- that concentration develops. Concentration, of course, is collectedness of mind, one-pointedness. Its characteristic is to keep consciousness from becoming diffuse or dispersed.

As we get closer and closer to this lifting process, we will see that it is like a line of ants crawling across the road. From afar the line may appear to be static, but from closer up it begins to shimmer and vibrate. And from even closer the line breaks up into individual ants, and we see that our notion of a line was just an illusion. We now accurately perceive the line of ants as one ant after another ant, after another ant. Exactly like this, when we look accurately at the lifting process from beginning to end, the mental factor or quality of consciousness called "insight" comes nearer to the object of observation. The nearer insight comes, the clearer the true nature of the lifting process can be seen. It is an amazing fact about the human mind that when insight arises and deepens through vipassana (or insight) meditation practice, particular aspects of the truth about existence tend to be revealed in a definite order. This order is known as the progress of insight.

The first insight that meditators commonly experience is to begin to comprehend -- not intellectually or by reasoning, but quite intuitively -- that the lifting process is composed of distinct mental and material phenomena occurring together, as a pair. The physical sensations, which are material, are linked with, but different from, the awareness, which is mental. We begin to see a whole succession of mental events and physical sensations, and to appreciate the conditionality that relates mind and matter.

We see with the greatest freshness and immediacy that mind causes matter -- as when our intention to lift the foot initiates the physical sensations of movement, and we see that matter causes mind -- as when a physical sensation of strong heat generates a wish to move our walking meditation into a shady spot. The insight into cause and effect can take a great variety of forms; but when it arises, our life seems far more simple to us than ever before. Our life is no more than a chain of mental and physical causes and effects. This is the second insight in the classical progress of insight.

As we develop concentration we see even more deeply that these phenomena of the lifting process are impermanent, impersonal, appearing, and disappearing one by one at fantastic speed. This is the next level of insight, the next aspect of existence that concentrated awareness becomes capable of seeing directly.

There is no one behind what is happening; the phenomena arise and pass away as an empty process, according to the law of cause and effect. This illusion of movement and solidity is like a movie. To ordinary perception it seems full of characters and objects, all the semblances of a world. But if we slow the movie down we will see that it is actually composed of separate, static frames of film.

Discovering the Path by Walking

When one is very mindful during a single lifting process -- that is to say, when the mind is with the movement, penetrating with mindfulness into the true nature of what is happening -- at that moment, the path to liberation taught by the Buddha opens up. The Buddha's Noble Eightfold Path, often known as the Middle Way or Middle Path, consists of the eight factors of right view or understanding, right thought or aim, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration.

During any moment of strong mindfulness, five of the eight path factors come alive in consciousness. There is right effort; there is mindfulness; there is one-pointedness or concentration; there is right aim; and as we begin to have insight into the true nature of the phenomena, right view also arises. And during a moment when these five factors of the Eightfold Path are present, consciousness is completely free from any sort of defilement.

As we make use of that purified consciousness to penetrate into the true nature of what is happening, we become free of the delusion or illusion of self, we see only bare phenomena coming and going. When insight gives us intuitive comprehension of the mechanism of cause and effect, how mind and matter are related to one another, we free ourselves of misconceptions about the nature of phenomena. Seeing that each object lasts only for a moment, we free ourselves of the illusion of permanence, the illusion of continuity. As we understand impermanence and its underlying unsatisfactoriness, we are freed from the illusion that our mind and body are not suffering.

This direct seeing of impersonality brings freedom from pride and conceit, as well as freedom from the wrong view that we have an abiding self. When we carefully observe the lifting process, we see mind and body as unsatisfactory and so are freed from craving. These three states of mind -- conceit, wrong view, and craving -- are called "the perpetuating dhammas." They help to perpetuate existence in samsdra, the cycle of craving and suffering that is caused by ignorance of ultimate truth. Careful attention in walking meditation shatters the perpetuating dhammas, bringing us closer to freedom.

You can see that noting the lifting of one's foot has incredible possibilities! These are no less present in moving the foot forward and in placing it on the ground. Naturally, the depth and detail of awareness described in these walking instructions should also be applied to noting the abdominal movement in sitting, and all other physical movements.

Five Benefits of Walking Meditation

The Buddha described five additional, specific benefits of walking meditation. The first is that one who does walking meditation will have the stamina to go on long journeys. This was important in the Buddha's time, when bhikkhus and bhikkhunis, monks and nuns, had no form of transportation other than their feet and legs. You who are meditating today can consider yourselves to be bhikkhus, and can think of this benefit simply as physical strengthening.

The second benefit is that walking meditation brings stamina for the practice of meditation itself. During walking meditation a double effort is needed. In addition to the ordinary, mechanical effort needed to lift the foot, there is also the mental effort to be aware of the movement -- and this is the factor of right effort from the Noble Eightfold Path. If this double effort continues through the movements of lifting, pushing and placing, it strengthens the capacity for that strong, consistent mental effort all yogis know is crucial to vipassana practice.

Thirdly, according to the Buddha, a balance between sitting and walking contributes to good health, which in turn speeds progress in practice. Obviously it is difficult to meditate when we are sick. Too much sitting can cause many physical ailments. But the shift of posture and the movements of walking revive the muscles and stimulate circulation, helping prevent illness.

The fourth benefit is that walking meditation assists digestion. Improper digestion produces a lot of discomfort and is thus a hindrance to practice. Walking keeps the bowels clear, minimizing sloth and torpor. After a meal, and before sitting, one should do a good walking meditation to forestall drowsiness. Walking as soon as one gets up in the morning is also a good way to establish mindfulness and to avoid a nodding head in the first sitting of the day.

Last, but not least, of the benefits of walking is that it builds durable concentration. As the mind works to focus on each section of the movement during a walking session, concentration becomes continuous. Every step builds the foundation for the sitting that follows, helping the mind stay with the object from moment to moment -- eventually to reveal the true nature of reality at the deepest level.

This is why I use the simile of a car battery. If a car is never driven, its battery runs down. A yogi who never does walking meditation will have a difficult time getting anywhere when he or she sits down on the cushion. But one who is diligent in walking will automatically carry strong mindfulness and firm concentration into sitting meditation.

I hope that all of you will be successful in completely carrying out this practice. May you be pure in your precepts, cultivating them in speech and action, thus creating the conditions for developing samadhi and wisdom.

May you follow these meditation instructions carefully, noting each moment's experience with deep, accurate and precise mindfulness, so that you will penetrate into the true nature of reality. May you see how mind and matter constitute all experiences, how these two are interrelated by cause and effect, how all experiences are characterized by impermanence, unsatisfactoriness and absence of self so that you may eventually realize nibbana -- the unconditioned state that uproots mental defilements -- here and now.

This article is excerpted from In This Very Life, ©1991, by Saddhamma Foundation. Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Wisdom Publications. www.wisdompubs.org

About the Author:
Sayadaw U Pandita is the abbot of Panditarama Monastery and Meditation Center in Rangoon, Burma. One of the renowned teachers in the tradition of Mahasi Sayadaw, he teaches from his own profound meditation experience, his 62 years of monastic training, and his extensive studies of the Pali texts. He has taught meditation worldwide since 1951.

Willingness the Size of a Mustard Seed

2008-08-18T08:47:00.003-04:00

A.A. Thought For The Day

"We of agnostic temperament have found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which we call God. As soon as you can say that you do believe or are willing to believe, you are on your way. Upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built." Am I willing to depend on a Power that I cannot fully define or comprehend?

Meditation For The Day

We seek God's presence and "they who seek shall find." It is not a question of searching so much as an inner consciousness of the Divine spirit in your heart. To realize God's presence you must surrender to His will in the small as well as in the big things of life.

This makes God's guidance possible. Some things separate you from God--a false word, a fear-inspired failure, a harsh criticism, a stubborn resentment. These are the things that put a distance between your mind and God. A word of love, a selfless reconciliation, a kind act of helpfulness--these bring God closer.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may think and say and do the things that bring God closer to me. I pray that I may find Him in sincere prayer, a kind word, or an unselfish deed.

from Twenty-Four Hours A Day copyright AAWS

a Stopping and Starting Problem

2008-06-12T07:54:00.003-04:00

I remember telling a friend years ago that I didn't have a drinking problem, I had a stopping problem. We laughed. It was true, but there was something else going on, something that never occurred to me until I came to AA. I didn't just have a stopping problem. I had a starting problem too. No matter how often I stopped, or for how long, I always started drinking again.

© 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 372-373

Thought to Ponder . . .
If you want to quit drinking, you are going to have to quit drinking.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
K I S S = Keep It Simple, Surrender.

AA Thought for the Day (courtesy www.AAOnline.net)

Uncomplicated and Free

2008-06-09T08:42:00.001-04:00

Today's thought for the day from Hazelden is:

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

The Prodigal Son took his journey into a far country and wasted his substance with riotous living. That is what those of us with afflictions do. The story continues that, when the son came to himself, he arose and went to his father. We do that, too, when we become a part of this program. That is when we come to our senses. The person steeped in distress is not the real self. The sane, sober, straight, rational, respectable person is the real self. Our involvement with our group has brought us happiness and a better self-image. Have I come to see myself in a better light?

MEDITATION FOR THE DAY

Simplicity is the keynote of a good life. Choose the simple things always. Life can become complicated if you let it become so. You can be swamped by difficulties if you let them take up too much of your time. Every difficulty can be either solved or ignored. Something better can be substituted for it. Love the humble things of life and revere the simple things. Your standard must never be the world's standard of wealth and power. These are ultimately sheer deception.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY

I pray that I may love the simple things of life. I pray that I may keep my life uncomplicated and free.

You are reading from the book:

Look to this Day by Alan L. Roeck. Copyright 1978 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

Writing as a Spiritual Experience

2008-04-27T20:11:00.001-04:00

Writing can be a true spiritual discipline. Writing can help us to concentrate, to get in touch with the deeper stirrings of our hearts, to clarify our minds, to process confusing emotions, to reflect on our experiences, to give artistic expression to what we are living, and to store significant events in our memories. Writing can also be good for others who might read what we write.

Quite often a difficult, painful, or frustrating day can be "redeemed" by writing about it. By writing we can claim what we have lived and thus integrate it more fully into our journeys. Then writing can become lifesaving for us and sometimes for others too.

--Henri Nouwen

Setting Boundaries

2008-04-27T19:57:00.003-04:00

Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns.

Negative energy can have a powerful pull on us, especially if we're struggling to maintain positive energy and balance. It may seem that others who exude negative energy would like to pull us into the darkness with them. We do not have to go. Without judgment, we can decide it's okay to walk away, okay to protect ourselves.

We cannot change other people. It does not help others for us to get off balance. We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them.

Today, God, help me to know that I don't have to allow myself to be pulled into negativity -- even around those I love. Help me set boundaries. Help me know it's okay to take care of myself.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Progress in Humility and Responsibility

2008-04-26T20:34:00.001-04:00

All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 271

To acknowledge and respect the views, accomplishments and prerogatives of others and to accept being wrong shows me the way of humility. To practice the principles of A.A. in all my affairs guides me to be responsible. Honoring these precepts gives credence to Tradition Four--and to all other Traditions of the Fellowship. Alcoholics Anonymous has evolved a philosophy of life full of valid motivations, rich in highly relevant principles and ethical values, a view of life which can be extended beyond the confines of the alcoholic population. To honor these precepts I need only to pray, and care for my fellow man as if each one were my brother.

from Daily Reflections copyright AAWS

Rewards of Meditation and Prayer

2008-04-25T20:42:00.001-04:00

"Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless. We know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter."

Bill W., Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 105
As Bill Sees It, p. 117

Thought to Consider . . .

Prayer is asking a question; meditation is listening to the answer.

AA Thoughts for Today

the Power of Self Acceptance

2008-04-10T10:57:00.003-04:00

"Self-esteem and the ego are inversely related; like a see-saw, when one goes up the other goes down. Self-esteem, though, is not an all-or-nothing proposition; rather, it runs along a spectrum with many shades of gray. And the more self-esteem we have, the more "reality" we let in, and so the more clearly we can see our lives and the impact of our choices...

"When we lack self-esteem, we are often unable to look at ourselves as the cause of the problem, because we cannot afford to be wrong emotionally. Instead of conceding that we erred, we prefer to believe that "The world is unfair," or "People are crooked." Thus, the seedlings of neuroses and paranoia take root. Before our conscious mind is forced to accept an unpleasant reality, we may also realign values...something has to give. (While most people with low self-esteem will refuse to accept responsibility, those with even more extreme low self-esteem may beat themselves up and become angry and annoyed with themselves. Healthy self-esteem allows a person to recognize his mistakes, without condemning himself OR the world.)

..."A person who is emotionally unwell reacts to conflicts in the following ways: "You are wrong," or "This is just how I am." There is little room for, "I was wrong," the acknowledgment of personal responsibility. Such a person deflects the world and his own insecurities and, in the process, grows weaker, because the psychological self can only develop through acceptance. This is our emotional immune system. In the person who lacks self-esteem, the deflection response engages at all times. Everything is considered a threat to his psychological security.

"Every time we refuse to acknowledge the truth about any aspect of ourselves (or condemn ourselves for being imperfect), we send the unconscious message, 'I am inadequate.'

..."Denying the truth does not make it go away. It makes us -- the real us -- go away. If we are completely honest with ourselves (and by extension, with others), then the ego does not engage. It only survives and thrives in a world of falsehood. Unless we can accept ourselves, we cannot see past ourselves. We are too busy judging, blaming, and distorting our world.

"Once we have fully accepted something about ourselves or our lives, we no longer need to hide from it. We don't care who knows about it or who finds out, and we don't allow the reality to hold us back. At this point, our fears dissolve, because there is no longer a threat of exposing ourselves... The truth, once embraced, can never be bruised or injured, yet a delusion can be shattered by a whisper or a glance.

"There is nothing wrong in seeing ourselves as less than perfect; it is honest and healthy. This is a far cry from the person who sees his imperfections and then condemns himself as worthless or lacking. Unless we can accept ourselves, we cannot see past ourselves. We are too busy judging, blaming, and distorting our world..."

Read more in Rising Above Our Nature, Part One from which the foregoing was quoted.

Complacency: Too Busy for Recovery

2008-04-10T10:11:00.001-04:00

"We must use what we learn or we will lose it, no matter how long we have been clean." Basic Text, p. 82

After putting some clean time together, some of us have a tendency to forget what our most important priority is. Once a week or less we say, "I've gotta get to a meeting tonight. It's been.. " We've been caught up in other things, important for sure, but no more so than our continued participation in Narcotics Anonymous.

It happens gradually. We get jobs. We reunite with our families. We're raising children, the dog is sick, or we're going to school at night. The house needs to be cleaned. The lawn needs to be mowed. We have to work late. We're tired. There's a good show at the theater tonight. And all of a sudden, we notice that we haven't called our sponsor, been to a meeting, spoken to a newcomer, or even talked to God in quite a while.

What do we do at this point? Well, we either renew our commitment to our recovery, or we continue being too busy to recover until something happens and our lives become unmanageable. Quite a choice! Our best bet is to put more of our energy into maintaining the foundation of recovery on which our lives are built. That foundation makes everything else possible, and it will surely crumble if we get too busy with
everything else.

Just for today: I can't afford to be too busy to recover I will do something today that sustains my recovery.

Just For Today Copyright Narcotics Anonymous

Slip Sliding Away

2008-04-10T09:17:00.001-04:00

"Slips can often be charged to rebellion; some of us are more rebellious than others. Slips may be due to the illusion that one can be 'cured' of alcoholism. Slips can also be charged to carelessness and complacency. Many of us fail to ride out these periods sober. Things go fine for two or three years--then the member is seen no more.

Some of us suffer extreme guilt because of vices or practices that we can't or won't let go of. Too little self-forgiveness and too little prayer--well, this combination adds up to slips.

"Then some of us are far more alcohol-damaged than others. Still others encounter a series of calamities and cannot seem to find the spiritual resources to meet them. There are those of us who are physically ill. Others are subject to more or less continuous exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. These conditions often play a part in slips--sometimes they are utterly controlling."

Copyright ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC. - As Bill Sees It

Came to Believe

2008-02-21T08:49:00.004-05:00

In shame and despair, I went to my first AA meeting. By some minor miracle, I was able to suspend opinion, analysis, judgment, and criticism, and instead to listen and hear. I heard someone say that AA works for those who work it, those who put action into the program.

For me, at that time, action consisted of simply showing up at an AA meeting and following the suggestions I heard. I heard that I should forget about yesterday and tomorrow and instead concentrate on today and staying away from the first drink today -- now. I tried it, and it worked.

The first step in the process of "coming to believe" had been taken.

c. 1973 AAWS, Came To Believe . . ., p. 42

Thought to Ponder . . .
I came; I came to; I came to believe.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A B C = Acceptance, Belief, Change.

AA Thought for the Day (courtesy AAOnline.net)

Me, Irrational? That's Not Rational

2008-02-19T09:40:00.003-05:00

Few indeed are the practicing alcoholics who have any idea how irrational they are, or seeing their irrationality, can bear to face it. Some will be willing to term themselves "problem drinkers," but cannot endure the suggestion that they are in fact mentally ill. They are abetted in this blindness by a world which does not understand the difference between sane drinking and alcoholism.

"Sanity" is defined as "soundness of mind." Yet no alcoholic, soberly analyzing his destructive behavior, whether the destruction fell on the dining-room furniture or his own moral fiber, can claim "soundness of mind" for himself.

c. 1953 AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp. 32-33

Thought to Ponder . . .
Many things can be preserved with alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

AA Thought for the Day(courtesy AAOnline.net)

Alcohol is Poison to the Alcoholic

2008-02-18T10:35:00.002-05:00

Alcohol is poinson to the alcoholic. Poison is not too strong a word, because alcoholism leads eventually to the death of the alcoholic. It may be a quick death or a slow death. When we go by package stores and see various kinds of liquor all dressed up in fancy packages to make it look attractive, we should always make it a point to say to ourselves so we'll never forget it: "That stuffs all poison to me." And it is. Alcohol poisoned our lives for a long time. Do I know that since I'm an alcoholic all liquor is poison to me?

from "Twenty-Four Hours A Day" -- ©Hazelden Foundation.

a Mustard Seed

2008-02-13T11:50:00.002-05:00

Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

"'You can, if you wish, make A.A. itself your "higher power." Here's a very large group of people who have solved their alcohol problem. In this respect they are certainly a power greater than you, who have not even come close to a solution. Surely you can have faith in them. Even this minimum of faith will be enough. You will find many members who have crossed the threshold just this way. All of them will tell you that, once across, their faith broadened and deepened. Relieved of the alcohol obsession, their lives unaccountably transformed, they came to believe in a Higher Power, and most of them began to talk of God.'"

© 1952, AAWS, Inc.Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pgs. 27-28

the Disease Concept and Moral Responsibility

2008-02-02T09:37:00.001-05:00

"Some strongly object to the A.A. position that alcoholism is an illness. This concept, they feel, removes moral responsibility from alcoholics. As any A.A. knows, this is far from true. We do not use the concept of sickness to absolve our members from responsibility. On the contrary, we use the fact of fatal illness to clamp the heaviest kind of moral obligation onto the sufferer, the obligation to use A.A.'s Twelve Steps to get well.

"In the early days of his drinking, the alcoholic is often guilty of irresponsibility. But once the time of compulsive drinking has arrived, he can't very well be held fully accountable for his conduct. He then has an obsession that condemns him to drink, and a bodily sensitivity to alcohol that guarantees his final madness and death.

"But when he is made aware of this condition, he is under pressure to accept A.A.'s program of moral regeneration."

--Bill W., from a talk given in 1960, from As Bill Sees It

Really Real

2008-02-02T09:13:00.000-05:00

“In the Big Book, it says that ‘most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics’ [p. 30]. When I hit my bottom, I was broken in every area. A.A. gently, slowly removed the garbage from my spirit—the hate, the resentment—and then began to heal my heart with real love, real respect and real trust.”

from Box 459, the GSO bi-monthly bulletin of Alcoholics Anonymous

Cut Off at the Pass

2008-01-31T13:25:00.000-05:00

A.A. Thought for the Day

A drinking life isn't a happy life. Drinking cuts you off from other people and from God. One of the worst things about drinking is the loneliness. And one of the best things about A.A. is the fellowship.

Drinking cuts you off from other people, at least from the people who really matter to you, your family, your coworkers, and your real friends. No matter how much you love them, you build up a wall between you and them by your drinking. You're cut off from any real companionship with them. As a result, you're terribly lonely. Have I gotten rid of my loneliness?

Meditation for the Day

I will sometimes go aside into a quiet place of retreat with God. In that place, I will find restoration and healing and power. I will plan quiet times now and then, times when I will commune with God and arise rested and refreshed to carry on the work that God has given me to do. I know that God will never give me a load greater than I can bear. It is in serenity and peace that all true success lies.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may strengthen my inner life, so that I may find serenity. I pray that my soul may be restored in quietness and peace.

from "Twenty-Four Hours A Day" ©Hazelden Foundation
via12StepSoulFoodForTheSpirit

the Love Thought System

2008-01-31T13:17:00.000-05:00

There are two systems of thought that are available for us to choose from. One is the love-thought system and the other is the fear-thought system. If we choose love, we will see the laws, principles and values of the Creator. If we choose fear, the results will be so paralyzing that it will cause us to take over and not rely on the Great Spirit. The fear-thought system will automatically cause attack, conflict, need to control over others. The love-thought system seeks peace of mind, unity and causes us to be love seekers.

Great Spirit, today let me see only love.

From WhiteBison.org

Happiness is Available if We Work For It

2008-01-27T10:54:00.000-05:00

We're all after the same thing, and that's happiness. We want peace of mind. The trouble with us alcoholics was this: We demanded that the world give us happiness and peace of mind in just the particular way we wanted to get it -- by the alcohol route.

And we weren't successful.

But when we take time to find out some of the spiritual laws, and familiarize ourselves with them, and put them into practice, then we do get happiness and peace of mind. . . . There seem to be some rules that we have to follow, but happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone.

c. 1980 AAWS, Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, p. 308
AA Thought for the Day (courtesy AAOnline.net)

Dealing with Difficult People

2008-01-26T09:26:00.000-05:00

"Do you remember the story of St. Francis and the leper? St. Francis loathed the leper. He couldn't bear to see him around, even though he felt guilty about feeling that way. However, one day, a great feeling of compassion swept over him. He put his arms around the leper, blessed him, and expressed his love for him. According to the story, the leper was healed and St. Francis healed of his loathing for the leper.

"Sometimes we find it as hard to bless and forgive someone as it must have been for St. Francis. But he put his arms around that body covered with sores and both were healed. The same thing happens to us when we put love to work in healing a relationship crisis. Everyone gets healed.

"When we are dealing with difficult people it's hard to look at them, the loathsome ones, and say in our minds all the good things we are supposed to say. We are advised to forgive when it's so much easier to bear a grudge. If we forgave, we would have to give up the feeling of being a victim. We would have to give up our favorite stories. It would be hard to do. We've worked on them a long time, perfecting them, getting the sequence of events in the right order, omitting nothing...

"When we are faced with adifficult person or problem, it is important that the decisions we make and actions we take must not be out of panic and anger, but out of quietness and an inward look for divine guidance. We tend to become consumed by our problems. We dwell on the ugliness of the person who is giving us so much trouble, and lose sight of the fact that every problem person provides us with an opportunity to practice what we preach. There is a solution to every difficult situation. We forget that this too shall pass...

"We can be a victim or we can take courage from the knowledge that God is right in the center of the situation, and work on the solution. When we use universal principles in solving a problem, it is solved in the most wonderful way. Divine Mind, God, has this loving way which allows us to grow through everyday situations, and to experience joy when we finally understand that it was all a cosmic puzzle for us to solve.

"Do you have a problem person or persons in your life? Give thanks for them and the valuable lessons they have to teach you. Give thanks for them and the lessons learned. The Universe will say, 'Well done, now, here's another one for you handle. Let's see what you learn from thisone.'"

from Getting It Right This Time by Dr. Delia Sellers. Visit her website at http://www.abundant.atfreeweb.com

At One with the Spirit

2008-01-25T10:47:00.001-05:00

A.A. Thought for the Day

In A.A. we're all through with lying, hangovers, remorse, and wasting money. When we were drinking, we were only half alive. Now that we're trying to live decent, honest, unselfish lives, we're really alive. Life has a new meaning for us, so that we can really enjoy it. We feel that we're some use in the world. We're on the right side of the fence, instead of on the wrong side. We can look the world in the face instead of hiding in alleys. We come into A.A. to get sober and if we stay long enough, we learn a new way of living. Am I convinced that no matter how much fun I got out of drinking, that life never was as good as the life I can build in A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

I want to be at one with the Divine Spirit of the universe. I will set my deepest affections on things spiritual, not on things material. As we think, so we are. So I will think of and desire that which will help, not hinder, my spiritual growth. I will try to be at one with God. No human aspiration can reach higher than this.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may think love, and love will surround me. I pray that I may think health, and health will come to me.

From Daily Reflections ©Hazelden Foundation

Constructive Review of Character Defects

2008-01-25T10:17:00.001-05:00

"Also ask your heart to purify and cleanse this defect and harmful desire. Ask also the help of the inner father and mother. Every time we eliminate a defect, we build our soul, our inner temple. We ascend. like going up a stairway."
--Willaru Huayata, QUECHUA NATION, PERU

The building blocks to knowledge and wisdom are constructed through the lessons of our character defects if we constructively review our conduct each day, asking where we are resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid. Remember, we need to review constructively, not destructively. Destructive review is when we ask, "what's the matter with me anyway." or "how could I be so stupid?" These question lead to morbid reflection or remorse and seriously affect our self esteem. In constructive review we ask, "what will I do next time?" With constructive review we progressively eliminate the defect and replace it with wisdom.

My Creator, allow me to have my defects because through them I gain in knowledge of Your will.

Elder's Meditation from White Bison

The 12 Steps We Arrived With

2008-01-22T15:40:00.000-05:00

Anger is an Emotion, Nothing More

2008-01-14T14:26:00.000-05:00

Turning Points

2008-01-09T09:29:00.000-05:00

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone.

At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.

Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing -- and able -- to change.

from Daily Reflections Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.

Travel On

2008-01-09T08:58:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we have to "step over" our anger, our jealousy, or our feelings of rejection and move on. The temptation is to get stuck in our negative emotions, poking around in them as if we belong there. Then we become the "offended one," "the forgotten one," or the "discarded one." Yes, we can get attached to these negative identities and even take morbid pleasure in them. It might be good to have a look at these dark feelings and explore where they come from, but there comes a moment to step over them, leave them behind and travel on.

--Henri Nouwen

Guide My Footsteps

2008-01-06T12:54:00.001-05:00

"When we're through with this earth and all these problems, we don't have to come back. But as long as we're here we have a job to do and a purpose to fulfill and that means dealing with the circumstances around us."
--Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE

We are put on the earth to participate in life. We have a beautiful mind, we have the ability to pray, we have the ability to change, we have the ability to accept, and we have choices. All things God created are constantly changing. This constant change causes our circumstances to change. Sometimes we say life is difficult. During these times we need to use our tools: the tools of prayer, and the tools of meditation. We are designed to change and live joyfully on this earth. The only requirement for living joyfully is to live according to the laws, principles and values given to us by the Creator.

Great Spirit, give me Your courage today, and guide my footsteps.

Elder's Meditation of the Day from White Bison

Avoid Tripping Over Molehills

2008-01-03T09:17:00.000-05:00

"Sometimes when we pray, a remarkable thing happens: We find the means, ways, and energies to perform tasks far beyond our capacities." Basic Text p. 44

Coping successfully with life's minor annoyances and frustrations is sometimes the most difficult skill we have to learn in recovery. We are faced with small inconveniences daily. From untangling the knots in our children's shoelaces to standing in line at the market, our days are filled with minor difficulties that we must somehow deal with.

If we're not careful, we may find ourselves dealing with these difficulties by bullying our way through each problem or grinding our teeth while giving ourselves a stern lecture about how we should handle them. These are extreme examples of poor coping skills, but even if we're not this bad there's probably room for improvement.

Each time life presents us with another little setback to our daily plans, we can simply take a deep breath and talk to the God of our understanding. Knowing we can draw patience, tolerance, or whatever we need from that Power, we find ourselves coping better and smiling more often.

Just for today: I will take a deep breath and talk to my God whenever I feel frustrated.

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.

Great Expectations in the New Year

2007-12-31T11:28:00.000-05:00

Wait, and expect good things - for yourself and your loved ones.

When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best God and His universe have to send. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it, and it is yours.

See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul, enter into and hold onto the image for a moment.

Then, let it go. Come back into today, the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been, all you are, and all you will become.

Wait, and expect good things.

Today, when I think abut the year ahead, I will focus on the good that is coming.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Beware of the Dogmatists

2007-12-31T10:39:00.000-05:00

A discussion of God, religion, spirituality and AA leads naturally into the problem of AA dogmatism – actually, the problem of AA dogmatists. The actual "official" AA program as described in the Big Book and other approved literature is conspicuously and consciously non-dogmatic and broad. The famous Twelve Steps themselves are merely "suggested as a program of recovery."

But because human beings tend to have opinions about matters vital to their welfare, and because alcoholics as a group are probably more prone to having and expressing strong opinions than average, it is not uncommon to find AA members here and there who are convinced that their understanding of the AA program is the only possible correct one, and hence that failure to adhere to their beliefs and practices will inevitably lead to ruin on the part of anyone unwise enough to disregard their superior wisdom.

Since the whole psychological or spiritual aim of AA recovery is to gain a sense of perspective on oneself that leads to tolerance and a nonjudgmental outlook, individuals who attempt to compel others to accept their own beliefs cannot be said to be "practicing the program" themselves. Such people are often described as "dry drunks," i.e. alcoholics who, though not drinking, are nevertheless behaving the way alcoholics commonly do when they drink. These "dry drunks" manifest judgmental and intolerant attitudes and a sense of personal grandiosity and "know-it-all"-ism that causes them to believe they know best, not only for themselves but also for other people.

They are not content to keep their opinions to themselves, nor even to state them humbly or diplomatically. In extreme cases they resemble the firey pulpit preachers of organized religion's yesteryear, always prepared to thunder forth their understanding of the one and only Truth to infidels and unbelievers, coupling their sermons and admonitions with the direst possible warnings of what will unquestionably befall those who fail to heed them. They are unattractive personalities who violate the AA principle of "promotion by attraction," i.e. of the responsibility of each AA member to strive to become the sort of person that others desire to emulate. The AA newcomer can safely ignore the often detailed instructions and advice of such people in favor of the more relaxed and accepting suggestions of less rigid or fanatical members.

Newcomers should also be prepared for the diversity and individuality of opinion that is usually expressed in meetings, and should realize that nobody in the meeting, regardless of how they may present themselves and their beliefs, is officially authorized to speak for AA itself. Everyone's opinion, from the rankest newcomer to the most seasoned and sober veteran, is simply their opinion.

In AA there are no generals, no officers, nor even any non-coms. Everyone alike is a pfc – "private first class." This certainly does not mean that everyone's opinion is just as true or useful as everyone else's – but it does mean that no one has been officially commissioned with the AA authority to lord it over anyone else or to tell them with any authority beyond that of their personal opinion how they must practice their own program of recovery.

From an excellent web page chock full of good advice and resources - Your First AA Meeting, whose table of contents is reproduced below.

Your First AA Meeting
An Unofficial Guide For the Perplexed

Introduction
Locating a meeting
Types of AA meetings
Discussion meetings
Big Bookand Step Study meetings
Speaker meetings
Clubhouse and church meetings
Meeting size
Smoking or non-smoking?
The diversity of AA groups
Ritualsand readings: What goes on at a typical AA meeting
The problem of fear
90 Meetings in 90 days? You must be CRAZY!
Arriving late, leaving early
Anonymity and confidentiality
What should you say if you share?
God, Religion and Spirituality
Dogmatism and dogmatists
Sponsors and sponsorship
Principles before personalities
Before and after the meeting
Brainwashing, mind control and cultism
Slogans and other superficial things
A New Vocabulary: Acceptance, Humility, Powerlessness
AA and Psychiatry. The Question of Medications
The AA Preamble
The Serenity Prayer
The Twelve Steps of AA
The Twelve Traditions of AA
The Promises of AA
Links to AA resources(Big Book, meeting finders, &etc.)

Self Will Run Riot

2007-12-31T09:35:00.000-05:00

There are two wills available for us: self will and God's will. Our choice is: figure it out ourselves, or have the Creator involved in our lives. If we are honest with ourselves and look at past experiences, what are our lives like when we try to figure it out ourselves? Is there fear, confusion, frustration, anger, attacking others, conflict, fault finding, manipulation, teasing others, belittling others or devaluation? If these things are present, they indicate that we are choosing self will. What is it like if we turn our will over to the Creator?

What are the results if we ask the Great Spirit to guide our life? Examples are: freedom, choices, consequences, love forgiveness, helping others, happiness, joy, solutions, and peace. Which will I choose today, self will or God's will?

Creator, I know what my choice is. I want You to direct my life. I want You to direct my thinking. You are the Grandfather. You know what I need even before I do. Today I ask You to tell me what I can do for You today. Tell me in a way I can understand and I will be happy to do it.

Elder's Meditation of the Day from WhiteBison.org

Your Own Conception of a Higher Power is Sufficient

2007-12-29T13:44:00.001-05:00

Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with a Higher Power. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps.

based on ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 46~

Holiday Surviving and Thriving

2007-12-29T13:32:00.000-05:00

Staying sober and healthy during the holiday season is not always easy. These articles from this About.com page offer tips for dealing with many aspects of surviving the holidays safely.

Surviving the Holidays Sober Staying sober during the holidays may not be easy, but it can be done. This six-day e-course provides tips for maintaining sobriety, dealing with depression, and staying healthy during the holiday season.

Holidays and Recovery Recently sober people are often confronted with drinking and using situations for the first time since they began their recoveries. There are solutions.

Dealing With the Holidays The holidays can be a time of great joy and celebration or a time of great pain, sorrow and depression for anyone. These can be particularly dangerous times for people who are in recovery, especially those in early recovery.

Staying Sober During the Holidays Regular visitors to the About Alcoholism site have taken time to share thier personal tips on dealing with the pressures of the Holiday Season.

How To Resist Drinking at a Party Not drinking when everyone else is can be very difficult, but it can be done with careful planning and determination.

It's Okay to Celebrate! We spend so much time trying to "help" those who struggle with the holidays, that sometimes we forget that for most it's a joyful, happy time and a reason to celebrate.

Planning a Safe Party Due to the dangers and liabilities involved, companies and individuals alike are coming to the realization that alcohol should not be the main attraction at holiday parties.

Healthy Holidays Whether you are dealing with stress, depression, grief or you are just allergic to your Christmas tree, your About.com Guides can help you have a safer, happier holiday.

Dealing With Depression Dealing with stress, depression, grief and seasonal blahs during the holidays.

Staying in Shape Staying in shape during the holiday season.

Taking Care of Yourself Looking after you is not always easy during the holiday season.

Safety Tips Tips for having a safe holiday season for you and your family from your About Health Guides.

New Beginnings

2007-12-29T13:25:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, as part of taking care of ourselves, it becomes time to end certain relationships. Sometimes, it comes time to change the parameters of a particular relationship.

This is true in love, in friendships, with family, and on the job.

Endings and changes in relationships are not easy. But often, they are necessary.

Sometimes, we linger in relationships that are dead, out of fear of being alone or to postpone the inevitable grieving process that accompanies endings. Sometimes, we need to linger for a while, to prepare ourselves, to get strong and ready enough to handle the change.

If that is what we are doing, we can be gentle with ourselves. It is better to wait until that moment when it feels solid, clear, and consistent to act.

We will know. We will know. We can trust ourselves.

Knowing that a relationship is changing or is about to end is a difficult place to be in, especially when it is not yet time to act but we know the time is drawing near. It can be awkward and uncomfortable, as the lesson draws to a close. We may become impatient to put closure on it, but not yet feel empowered to do that. That's okay. The time is not yet right. Something important is still happening. When the time is right, we can trust that it will happen. We will receive the power and the ability to do what we need to do.

Ending relationships or changing the boundaries of a particular relationship is not easy. It requires courage and faith. It requires a willingness on our part to take care of ourselves and, sometimes, to stand-alone for a while.

Let go of fear. Understand that change is an important part of recovery. Love yourself enough to do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and find enough confidence to believe that you will love again.

We are never starting over. In recovery, we are moving forward in a perfectly planned progression of lessons. We will find ourselves with certain people - in love, family, friendships, and work - when we need to be with them. When the lesson has been mastered, we will move on. We will find ourselves in a new place, learning new lessons, with new people.

No, the lessons are not all painful. We will arrive at that place where we can learn, not from pain, but from joy and love.

Our needs will get met.

Today, I will accept where I am in my relationships, even if that place is awkward and uncomfortable. If I am in the midst of endings, I will face and accept my grief. God, help me trust that the path I am on has been perfectly and lovingly planned for me. Help me believe that my relationships are teaching me important lessons. Help me accept and be grateful for middles, endings, and new beginnings.

--You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

Spiritual Revolution

2007-12-24T09:59:00.000-05:00

The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows, and toward God's universe.

The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.

c. 2001AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 25

from TransitionsDaily | Google Groups

The Twelve Tips for a Sober Holiday Season

2007-12-24T09:45:00.000-05:00

1. Line up extra Recovery activities for the holiday season.Arrange to take newcomers to meetings, answer the phones at a clubhouse or central office,or help line, speak, help with dishes, or visit the detox ward at a hospital.

2. Be host to Recovering friends, especially newcomers. If you don’t have a place where you can throw a formal party, take one person to a diner and spring for the coffee.

3. Keep your Recovery telephone list with you all the time. If a using or drinking urge or panic comes—postpone everything else until you’ve called someone in Recovery.

4. Find out about the special holiday parties, meetings, or other celebrations given by groups in your area, and go. If you’re timid, take someone newer than you are.

5. Skip any social occasion you are nervous about. Remember how clever you were at excuses when using or drinking? Now put the talent to good use. No office party is as important as saving your life.

6. If you have to go to a party and can’t take a Recovery friend with you, keep some candy handy.

7. Don’t think you have to stay late. Plan in advance an “important date” you have to keep.

8. Worship in your own way.

9. Don’t sit around brooding. Catch up on those books, museums, walks, and letters.
10. Don’t start now getting worked up about all those holiday temptations. Remember—“one day at a time.” And “Just for Today”

11. Enjoy the true spirit of holiday love and joy. Maybe you cannot give material gifts — but this year, you can give love.

12. “Having had a ….” No need to spell out the Twelfth Step here, since you already know it.

Adapted From a Box 459 Holiday Issue

Embrace Reality

2007-12-24T09:40:00.000-05:00

Above all, we reject fantasizing and accept reality.

The more I drank, the more I fantasized everything. I imagined getting even for hurts and rejections. In my mind's eye I played and replayed scenes in which I was plucked magically from the bar where I stood nursing a drink and was instantly exalted to some position of power and prestige.

I lived in a dream world.

AA led me gently from this fantasizing to embrace reality with open arms.

And I found it beautiful! For, at last, I was at peace with myself. And with others.

And with God.

c. 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 559
from AAOnline.net

Freedom from Self-Obsession

2007-12-21T12:06:00.000-05:00

"In living the steps, we begin to let go of our self-obsession."
--Basic Text p.94

Many of us came to the program convinced that our feelings, our wants, and our needs were of the utmost importance to everyone. We had practiced a lifetime of self-seeking, self-centered behavior and believed it was the only way to live.

That self-centeredness doesn't cease just because we stop using drugs. Perhaps we attend our first NA function and are positive that everyone in the room is watching us, judging us, and condemning us. We may demand that our sponsor be on call to listen to us whenever we want-and they, in turn, may gently suggest that the world does not revolve around us. The more we insist on being the center of the universe, the less satisfied we will be with our friends, our sponsor, and everything else.

Freedom from self-obsession can be found through concentrating more on the needs of others and less on our own. When others have problems, we can offer help. When newcomers need rides to meetings, we can pick them up. When friends are lonely, we can spend time with them. When we find ourselves feeling unloved or ignored, we can offer the love and attention we need to someone else. In giving, we receive much more in return-and that's a promise we can trust.

Just for today: I will share the world with others, knowing they are just as important as I am. I will nourish my spirit by giving of myself.

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.

Finding Answers in the Heart

2007-12-20T11:58:00.000-05:00

I spent most of my life worrying about myself, thinking that I was unwanted, that I was unloved.

I've learned since being in AA that the more I worry about me loving you, and the less I worry about you loving me, the happier I'll be. I discovered a fellowship of human beings that I'd never seen before. I learned how to have self-respect through work that AA gave me to do. I learned how to be a friend. I learned how to go out and help other people -- there was nowhere else I could have done that. I have learned that the more I give, the more I will have; the more I learn to give, the more I learn to live.

c. 2003 AAWS, Experience, Strength and Hope, p. 218

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .

F A I T H = Finding Answers In The Heart.

from AAOnline.net

Allergy and Obsession

2007-12-20T11:20:00.000-05:00

"Alcohol addiction has yet to be completely understood by the scientific and medical communities. One thing commonly agreed upon is that alcohol addiction, or alcoholism, is a fatal disease if not treated. Luckily... there are numerous ways to combat alcoholism for those willing to stop drinking and accept help.

"Alcoholism is considered by most to be an obsession of the mind and allergy of the body. When thinking of an allergy, most people think of an allergic reaction to, say, shellfish. For someone who is allergic to shellfish to sit at the dinner table and fill their stomach with it could be fatal. But what if this person has an obsession that cannot be controlled once they begin eating the shellfish? They need more and more until they have filled themselves with it and must be hospitalized because of it. Family members and friends can hide the shellfish, not buy it, skip the shellfish sections of the local market but somehow, someway, the individual with the shellfish obsession will find a way to get it and eat it. Again, this sets off a turn of events that nearly kills the person and lands them in the hospital. Alcoholism is similar to the example above.

"As it has been said before, one drink is too many and a thousand is never enough. The disease of alcoholism is sly, mysterious, potent and patient. A non alcoholic can be at a social event, have a drink maybe two, start to feel tipsy or a sense of loss of control, nausea might set in and they will stop. For an alcoholic at the same event, they will have a drink and begin to feel more in control, more elated and free. Another drink increases that feeling so another will be needed after that and another and then another. The alcoholic will continue to drink and will be drunk before the night is over.

"When a person crosses the line between normal drinking and alcoholism, they will never be the same again. It is like changing a cucumber into a pickle. The pickle will never be a cucumber again. The alcoholic will try to grasp the same feelings and emotions they once associated with casual drinking but it will elude them indefinitely. They will continue down numerous paths to try and regain what once was but will exhaust every avenue until there is nowhere else to turn. Even then, they may still drink.

"Alcoholism is misunderstood by the general population and there is good reason behind this. Non alcoholics will never be able to comprehend the powerful obsession affiliated with alcoholism. It is something that cannot be understood unless it is lived by the individual themselves. Even the alcoholic may be baffled by their life threatening dilemma. Not too long ago alcoholics were thrown into insane asylums and locked away. But there is hope for the alcoholic today. By accepting help, an alcoholic can increase their chances of living a purpose-filled and happy, alcohol-free life."

From this Patrick McLemore article.

Open to Self-Nurturing

2007-12-17T10:51:00.000-05:00

Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it's silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent; it's how we show love for ourselves. That's what we're striving for in recovery - a loving relationship with ourselves that works, so we can have loving relationships with others that work.

When we hurt, we ask ourselves what we need to help us feel better. When we feel alone, we reach out to someone safe. Without feeling that we are a burden, we allow that person to be there for us.

We rest when we're tired; eat when we're hungry; have fun or relax when our spirits need a lift. Nurturing means giving ourselves gifts - a trip to the beauty salon or barbershop, a massage, a book, a new jacket, or a new suit or dress. It means a long, hot bath to forget about our problems and the world for a few moments when that would feel good.

We learn to be gentle with ourselves and to open up to the nurturing that others have to offer us.

As part of nurturing ourselves, we allow ourselves to give and receive positive touch - touch that feels appropriate to us, touch that is safe. We reject touch that doesn't feel good or safe and is not positive.

We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way. We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self centered, or narcissistic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships.

We will learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us.

Today, I will nurture myself. I will also be open to the nurturing that I can give to others and receive from them.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

From 12-Step Soul Food For The Spirit

Road to Genuine Humility

2007-12-15T12:37:00.000-05:00

"Hence it was most evident that a solitary self-appraisal, and the admission of our defects based upon that alone, wouldn't be nearly enough. We'd have to have outside help if we were surely to know and admit the truth about ourselves...the help of God and another human being. Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by being willing to take advice and accept direction could we set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty, and genuine humility."

(Twelve and Twelve, Step Five, pg. 59)

From 12 Step Recovery Google Group

Holiday Blues

2007-12-08T09:37:00.000-05:00

When we catch self-pity starting, we also can take action against it with instant bookkeeping. For every entry of misery on the debit side, we find a blessings we can mark on the credit side. . .

We can use the same method to combat the holiday blues, which are sung not only by alcoholics. Christmas and New Year's, birthdays and anniversaries throw many other people into the morass of self-pity. . .

Instead, we add up the other side of the ledger, in gratitude for health, for loved ones who are around, and for our ability to give love, now that we live in sobriety.

c.1998 AAWS, Living Sober, p. 58

a Daily Reprieve

2007-12-08T09:30:00.000-05:00

"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 85~

A Beautiful People

2007-12-04T12:51:00.000-05:00

The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

--Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Start By Forgiving

2007-12-04T12:40:00.000-05:00

The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us. Triumphantly we seize upon his slightest misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own.

Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. Let's remember that alcoholics are not the only ones bedeviled by sick emotions. In many instances we are really dealing with fellow sufferers, people whose woes we have increased. If we are about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all?

TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 78

Caution: Ego Ahead

2007-12-04T12:29:00.000-05:00

"The smarter a man is the more he needs God to protect him from thinking he knows everything."
--George Webb, PIMA

A spiritual person needs to be careful. The more confident we are, the more likely our egos will get us into trouble. It's relatively easy to become self-righteous. We start to think we are teachers and others are students. We start to judge others. We start, very subtlely at first, to play God. After a while we really get good at it. This is very dangerous. We need to remind ourselves, we are here to do God's will. We need to pray every morning. Each day we need to check in with God to see what He would have us do. At night we need to spend time with God and review our day. By doing these things, we will stay on track.

My Creator, guide my path and show me how to correct my life.

Elder's Meditation of the Day from WhiteBison.org

New Roads Await

2007-12-03T12:14:00.000-05:00

"Don't feel sorry for yourself if you have chosen the wrong road--turn around!"
--Edgar Cayce

I know many people who could stand to hear--and take to heart--this piece of advice. Many people seem to find themselves "stuck" in certain places, jobs, or situations, and they don't realize that all that's necessary for them to change their situations is to make a decision and either turn around and go back and find the right road, or simply to start out on another road that looks positive to them.

It's easy for us to feel sorry for ourselves, though. After all, when something goes wrong, we want others to know that something's wrong, that we're deserving of other people's sympathy or pity. But this type of approach does absolutely nothing to change or help our situations; it merely shows a negative reaction to what's going on in our lives.

A positive reaction, though, is one that puts us on the road to make a change when we feel that a change is due. There are times in our lives when things just aren't working; at those times, it's important that we make decisions that put us on the road to improvement, not that keep us on the barren road of self-pity.

We all choose wrong roads now and then, no matter how good or how honorable our intentions. What helps to determine our character and the quality of our lives, though, is not necessarily the road we choose, but what we decide to do once we find out that we're on a wrong road. In those decisions we'll see our lives being constructed, refined, and improved...

"When you find yourself overpowered, as it were, by melancholy, the best way is to go out and do something."
--John Keble

From livinglifefully.com--inspiration, motivation, and encouragement

Self Care Involves Setting Boundaries

2007-12-03T12:07:00.000-05:00

Many of us are skilled at denying and discounting what hurts us. We may endure a particular situation, telling ourselves repeatedly it's not that bad; we shouldn't be so demanding; it'll change any day; we should be able to live with it; it doesn't annoy us; the other person didn't really mean it; it doesn't hurt; maybe it's just us.

We may fight and argue with ourselves about the reality and validity of our pain - our right to feel it and do something about it. Often we will tolerate too much or so much that we become furious and refuse to tolerate any more.

We can learn to develop healthy tolerance.

We do that by setting healthy boundaries and trusting ourselves to own our power with people. We can lessen our pain and suffering by validating and paying attention to ourselves. We can work at shortening the time between identifying a need to set a boundary, and taking clear, direct action.

We aren't crazy. Some behaviors really do bug us. Some behaviors really are inappropriate, annoying, hurtful, or abusive. We don't have to feel guilty about taking care of ourselves once we identify a boundary that needs to be set. Look at the experience as an experiment in owning our power, in establishing new, healthy boundaries and limits for ourselves.

We don't have to feel guilty or apologize or explain ourselves after we've set a boundary. We can learn to accept the awkwardness and discomfort of setting boundaries with people. We can establish our rights to have these limits. We can give the other person room to have and explore his or her feelings; we can give ourselves room to have our feelings - as we struggle to own our power and create good, working relationships.

Once we can trust our ability to take care of ourselves, we will develop healthy reasonable tolerance of others.

God, help me begin striving for healthy boundaries and healthy tolerance for others and myself.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

No Longer Trapped

2007-12-03T11:57:00.000-05:00

"Perhaps for the first time, we see a vision of our new life."
Basic Text p. 34

In our addiction, our vision of ourselves was very limited. Each day, we went through the same routine: getting, using, and finding ways and means to get more. And that's all we could reasonably expect for the duration of our lives. Our potential was limited.

Today, our prospects are changed. Recovery has given us a new vision of ourselves and our lives. We are no longer trapped in the endlessly gray routine of addiction. We are free to stretch ourselves in new ways, trying out new ideas and new activities. In doing so, we come to see ourselves in a new way. Our potential is limited only by the strength of the Higher Power that cares for us-and that strength has no limits.

In recovery, life and everything in it appears open to us. Guided by our spiritual principles, driven by the power given us by the God of our understanding, our horizons are limitless.

Just for today: I will open my eyes to the possibilities before me. My potential is as limitless and as powerful as the God of my understanding.Today, I will act on that potential.

Just For Today, December 3, Vision Without Limits, Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.

Count Your Blessings Every Day

2007-11-20T21:02:00.000-05:00

Commit yourself to noticing your blessings, and saying thank you to God and to others for them. Try some of the following suggestions or add your own:

Take the time to write thank-you notes in response to gifts you've received, events you've enjoyed, or anything else that deserves thanks.

Say thank you to other people as often as possible.

Say grace before and after meals in thankfulness for the food that sustains your body.

Give God a quick thank you throughout the day for anything that give you joy.

Take a daily inventory of the blessings of that particular day. If you wish, keep a written list of these and see if it grows longer over time.

From beliefnet.com

Serenity Prayer with Enya's May It Be

2007-11-05T14:39:00.001-05:00

The Divine Within

2007-11-03T08:59:00.000-04:00

"Peace... comes within the souls of men when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the Universe dwells Wakan-Tanka, and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us."
--Black Elk (Hehaka Sapa) OGLALA SIOUX

If we are to know peace we must look within ourselves. In order to do this, we must learn to be still. We must quiet the mind. We must learn to meditate. Meditation helps us locate and find the center that is within ourselves. The center is where the Great One resides. When we start to look for peace, we need to realize where it is within ourselves. When we experience conflict we need to pause for a moment and ask the Power within ourselves, "How do you want me to handle this? What would you suggest I do in this situation?" By asking the Higher Power for help we find peace.

WhiteBison.org Elder's Meditation of the Day

Putting the Past in Perspective

2007-11-02T08:41:00.000-04:00

"We want to look our past in the face, see it for what it really was, and release it so we can live today." Basic Text, p.28

For many of us, the past is like a bad dream. Our lives aren't the same any more, but we still have fleeting, highly charged emotional memories of a really uncomfortable past. The guilt, fear, and anger that once dominated us may spill into our new life, complicating our efforts to change and grow.

The Twelve Steps are the formula that helps us learn to put the past in its place. Through the Fourth and Fifth Steps, we become aware that our old behavior didn't work. We ask a Higher Power to relieve us of our shortcomings in the Sixth and Seventh Steps, and we begin to be relieved of the guilt and fear that plagued us for so many years. In the Eighth and Ninth Steps, by making amends, we demonstrate to others that our lives are changing. We are no longer controlled by the past. Once the past loses its control over us, we are free to find new ways to live, ways that reflect who we truly are.

Just for today: I don't have to be controlled by my past. I will live this new day as the new person I am becoming.

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.

Lay Aside Religious Prejudice

2007-11-02T08:36:00.000-04:00

We who have traveled a path through agnosticism or atheism beg you to lay aside prejudice, even against organized religion. We have learned that, whatever the human frailties of various faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose and direction to millions. People of faith have a rational idea of what life is all about.

Actually, we used to have no reasonable conception whatever. We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices, when we might have seen that many spiritually minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability, happiness, and usefulness that we should have sought for ourselves.

As Bill Sees It: People of Faith copyright AAWS, Inc.

The Grateful Person

2007-11-01T20:32:00.000-04:00

The grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference.
-- Thomas Merton: Thoughts in Solitude

www.gratefulness.org

Hope for Tomorrow

2007-11-01T20:08:00.000-04:00

Alcoholism respects no ifs.

It does not go away, not for a week, for a day, or even for an hour, leaving us nonalcoholic and able to drink again on some special occasion or for some extraordinary reason -- not even if it is a once-in-a-lifetime celebration, or if a big sorrow hits us, or if it rains in Spain or the stars fall on Alabama. Alcoholism is for us unconditional, with no dispensations available at any price. . .
c.1998 AAWS, Living Sober, pp. 63-4

Adjust the Sails

2007-11-01T19:52:00.000-04:00

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

My first sponsor told me there were two things to say about prayer and meditation: first, I had to start and second, I had to continue. When I came to A.A. my spiritual life was bankrupt; if I considered God at all, He was to be called upon only when my self-will was incapable of a task or when overwhelming fears had eroded my ego.

Today I am grateful for a new life, one in which my prayers are those of thanksgiving. My prayer time is more for listening than for talking. I know today that if I cannot change the wind, I can adjust my sail. I know the difference between superstition and spirituality. I know there is a graceful way of being right, and many ways to be wrong.

---Daily Reflections copyright AAWS Inc.

Developing a Relationship with a Higher Power

2007-10-31T20:03:00.000-04:00

"Ongoing recovery is dependent on our relationship with a loving God who cares for us and will do for us what we find impossible to do for ourselves." Basic Text, p.96

Working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous gives us a fresh start in life and some guidance for living in the world. But the steps are more than a fresh start. When we do our best to work the steps, we develop a relationship with our personal Higher Power.

In the Third Step, we decide to allow a loving God to influence our lives. Much of the courage, trust, and willingness we need to continue through the succeeding steps comes from this decision. In the Seventh Step, we go even further by asking this Higher Power to change our lives. The Eleventh Step is a way for us to improve the relationship.

Recovery is a process of growth and change in which our lives are renewed. The Twelve Steps are the roadmap, the specific directions we take in order to continue in recovery. But the support we need to proceed with each step comes from our faith in a Higher Power, the belief that all will be well. Faith gives us courage to act. Each step we work is supported by our relationship with a loving God.

Just for today: I will remember that the source of my courage and willingness is my relationship with my Higher Power.

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous© 1991 by World Service Office Inc.

Steps in the Sunlight

2007-10-15T09:04:00.000-04:00

I was a slave to the behavior patterns of alcoholism. I was chained to negativity, with no hope of cutting loose. The Steps offered me an alternative. . .

Today I can choose to open the door to freedom and rejoice in the sunlight of the Steps, as they cleanse the spirit within me.

c. 1990 AAWS, Daily Reflections, p. 114

Thought to Ponder . . .
Just for today, I choose not to drink.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
H O W = Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness.

AA Thought for the Day(courtesy AAOnline.net)

Freedom Comes from Dependence on a Higher Power

2007-10-15T08:59:00.000-04:00

"As recovering addicts, we find that we are still dependent, but our dependence has shifted from the things around us to a loving God and the inner strength we get in our relationship with Him."
Basic Text pp.67-68

For many addicts, rebelliousness is second nature. We didn't want to depend on anyone or anything, and especially not on God. The beauty of using, we thought, was that it gave us the power to be and feel anything we wanted, all by ourselves. But the price we paid for this illusory freedom was a dependence beyond our worst nightmares. Rather than freeing us, using enslaved us.

When we came to Narcotics Anonymous, we learned that dependence on God didn't have to mean what we may have thought it meant. Yes, if we wanted to be restored to sanity, we would need to tap "a Power greater than ourselves". However, we could choose our own concept of this Higher Power-we could even make one up. Dependence on a Higher Power would not limit us, we discovered; it would free us.

The Power we find in recovery is the power we lacked on our own. It is the love we were afraid to depend on others for. It is the sense of personal direction we never had, the guidance we couldn't humble ourselves to ask for or trust others to give. It is all these things, and it is our own. Today, we are grateful to have a Higher Power to depend on.

Just for today: I will depend on the love and inner strength I draw from the God of my own understanding.

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.

Set Free to Live and Love

2007-10-14T20:44:00.000-04:00

"If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand.

Let us, with God's help, continually surrender these hobbling liabilities. Then we can be set free to live and love; we may then be able to twelfth-step ourselves, as well as others, into emotional sobriety."

Bill. W., AAGrapevine, January 1958 c.1967AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 288

My Own House in Order

2007-10-14T20:33:00.000-04:00

"We emphasize setting our house in order because it brings us relief." Basic Text p. 93

Focusing on what others are doing can provide momentary relief from having to take a look at ourselves. But one of the secrets of success in Narcotics Anonymous is making sure our own house is in order. So what does "setting our house in order" mean, anyway?

It means we work the steps, allowing us to look at our role in our relationships with others. When we have a problem with someone, we can take our own inventory to find out what our part in the problem has been. With the help of our sponsor, we strive to set it right. Then, each day, we continue taking our inventory to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.

It's pretty simple. We treat others as we would like others to treat us. We promptly make amends when we owe them. And when we turn our lives over to the care of our Higher Power on a daily basis, we can start to avoid running on the self-will so characteristic of our active addiction. Guided by a Power that seeks the best for everyone, our relationships with others will surely improve.

Just for today: I will set my own house in order. Today, I will examine my part in the problems in my life. If I owe amends, I will make them.

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.

Trust, Not Control

2007-10-14T20:02:00.000-04:00

Controlling is a direct response to our fear, panic, and sense of helplessness. It is a direct response to feeling overwhelmed, and to distrust. We may not trust ourselves, our Higher Power, the Plan, the Universe, or the process of life. Instead of trusting, we revert to control.

We can approach this need to control by dealing with our fear. We deal with fear by trusting - ourselves, our Higher Power, the love and support of the Universe, the Plan, and this process we call life and recovery. We can trust that when things don't work out the way we want, God has something better planned.

We can trust ourselves to get where we need to go, say what we need to say, do what we need to do, know what we need to know, be who we need to be, and become all we can become, when we are intended to do that, when we are ready, and when the time is right. We can trust our Higher Power and the Universe to give us all the direction we need. We can trust ourselves to listen, and respond, accordingly.

We can trust that all we need on this journey shall come to us. We will not get all we need for the entire journey today. We shall receive today's supplies today, and tomorrow's supplies tomorrow.

We were never intended to carry supplies for the entire journey. The burden would be too heavy, and the way was intended to be light.

Trust in yourself. We do not have to plan, control, and schedule all things. The schedule and plan have been written. All we need to do is show up. The way will become clear and the supplies will be amply and clearly provided, one day at a time.

Trust, my friend, in today.

Today, I will trust that I will receive all I need to get me through today. I will trust that the same shall happen tomorrow.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Online AA Pamphlets

2007-10-11T09:42:00.000-04:00

The following links are to online pamphlets on the Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. (AAWS) web site. They will open in a new window.
“Information for Professionals”
“Information on Alcoholics Anonymous”
“About AA,” newsletter for professionals
“Anonymity Letter to Media”
AA Press Releases

Additional Pamphlets of Interest
“44 Questions,” questions and answers about AA and drinking
“AA Fact File,” basic information on the AA Fellowship
“Is AA for You?” Twelve questions only you can answer
“A Newcomer Asks,” for those approaching AA for the first time
“A Message to Teenagers”
“Do You Think You’re Different?”
“Is There an Alcoholic in Your Life?”

From this aa-intergroup.org page

Pain Can Be a Friend

2007-10-03T22:55:00.000-04:00

As we work the first nine Steps, we prepare ourselves for the adventure of a new life. But when we approach Step Ten we commence to put our A.A. way of living to practical use, day by day, in fair weather or foul. Then comes the acid test: can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions?
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88

I know the Promises are being fulfilled in my life, but I want to maintain and develop them by the daily application of Step Ten. I have learned through this Step that if I am disturbed, there is something wrong with me. The other person may be wrong too, but I can only deal with my feelings. When I am hurt or upset, I have to continually look for the cause in me, and then I have to admit and correct my mistakes. It isn't easy, but as long as I know I am progressing spiritually, I know that I can mark my effort up as a job well done.

I have found that pain is a friend; it lets me know their is something wrong with my emotions, just as a physical pain lets me know there is something wrong with my body. When I take the appropriate action through the Twelve Steps, the pain gradually goes away.

From Daily Reflections ©Copyright 1990 AAWS, INC.

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.
c. 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p.417

Two Wolves

2007-10-03T22:37:00.001-04:00

An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life...

He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

One wolf is evil -- he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.

The other is good---he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."

They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied: "The one you feed".

Electronic Version of Alcoholics Anonymous

2007-10-03T22:29:00.000-04:00

Big Book On Line

Melt Icy Mountains with Willingness

2007-09-24T13:46:00.000-04:00

"My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, 'Why don't you choose your own conception of God?'

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning."

c. 1976AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 12

"Is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening? Again, the voice of AA speaks up. No, sobriety is only a bare beginning, it is only the first gift of the first awakening. If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. And if it does go on, we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life -- the one that did not work -- for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever.

Regardless of worldly success or failure, regardless of pain or joy, regardless of sickness or health or even of death itself, a new life of endless possibilities can be lived if we are willing to continue our awakening."

Bill W., December 1957
c. 1988AAWS, The Language of the Heart, p. 234

Dr. Silkworth's Rx for Relapse Prevention

2007-09-24T13:36:00.000-04:00

Dr. W.D. Silkworth, genial and beloved little patriarch at Towns Hospital, New York, for twelve years and now (1945) also in charge of the new A.A. ward at Knickerbocker, also New York, defines it [relapse] as the "alcoholic double-cross."

"The majority who slip after periods of sobriety," says Dr. Silkworth, "have double-crossed themselves into thinking that somehow they can have the unopened bottle and drink it, too. Even though they have been in A.A. and going to meetings, and following parts of the program, they have accepted it with reservations somewhere. They actually have been one step ahead of a drink. Then they began playing around with the notion they can drink a little and still have the good things of A.A. The outcome is an inevitable as the bottle becoming empty once it has been opened by the alcoholic."

When Dr. Silkworth discusses A.A. "slips" his usually cheerful face becomes serious, even a little grim. Through his long years of practice in the field, he has become increasingly sympathetic, but not case-hardened, to alcoholics. He understands what they experience. Having been one of the first in his profession to support A.A. and having guided scores of alcoholics into A.A., he also appreciates the fact that a "slip" for an A.A. involves an extra degree of remorse and misery.

Dr. Silkworth is particularly emphatic on one point.

"Slips are not the fault of A.A. I have heard patients complain, when brought in for another drying out, that A.A. failed them. The truth, of course, is that they failed A.A. But this mental maneuvering to transfer the blame is obviously another indication of fallacious thinking. It is another symptom of the disease."

A quick way to get Dr. Silkworth's appraisal of A.A. is to ask him how he thinks "slips" can be prevented.

"First," he explains, "let's remember the cause. The A.A. who "slips" has not accepted the A.A. program in its entirety. He has a reservation, or reservations. He's tried to make a compromise. Frequently, of course, he will say he doesn't know why he reverted to a drink. He means that sincerely and, as a matter of fact, he may not be aware of any reason. But if his thoughts can be probed deeply enough a reason can usually be found in the form of a reservation."

"The preventive, therefore, is acceptance of the A.A. program and A.A. principles without any reservations..."

From this 1945 AA Grapevine article

Desire for Revenge Blocks the Light

2007-09-20T20:06:00.000-04:00

No matter how long we've been recovering, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel an overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person.

We want revenge.

We want to see the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person just rewards. In fact, we would like to help life out.

Those are normal feelings, but we do not have to act on them. These feelings are part of our anger but it's not our job to deal justice.

We can allow ourselves to feel the anger. It is helpful to go one step deeper and let ourselves feel the other feelings - the hurt, the pain, the anguish. But our goal is to release the feelings, and be finished with them.

We can hold the other person accountable. We can hold the other person responsible. But it is not our responsibility to be judge and jury. Actively seeking revenge will not help us. It will block us and hold us back.

Walk away. Stop playing the game. Unhook. Learn your lesson. Thank the other person for having taught you something valuable. And be finished with it. Put it behind, with the lesson intact.

Acceptance helps. So does forgiveness - not the kind that invites that person to use us again, but a forgiveness that releases the other person and sets him or her free to walk a separate path, while releasing our anger and resentments. That sets us free to walk our own path.

Today, I will be as angry as I need to be, with a goal of finishing my business with others. Once I have released my hurt and anger, I will strive for healthy forgiveness - forgiveness with boundaries.

I understand that boundaries, coupled with forgiveness and compassion, will move me forward.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Melody Beattie ©©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Forgiveness Soothes Regret

2007-09-20T19:30:00.000-04:00

"Holding onto regret is like dragging the weight of the past with us everywhere we go. It drains our energy, leaving less available for life in the present because we are constantly feeding an old issue. This attachment can cause illness the same way watering a dead plant creates decay. We know that something new and beautiful can grow in its place if we only prepare the soil and plant the right seeds.

"We also know that we create our lives from our thoughts, so dwelling on the past may actually recreate a situation in our lives where we are forced to make the choice again and again. We can choose to move on right now by applying what we have learned to the present and perhaps even sharing with others, transforming the energy into something that is constructive and creative for ourselves and others.

"Forgiveness is the soothing balm that can heal regret. In meditation, we can imagine discussing the issue with the self of our past and offering our forgiveness for the choice. In return, we can ask for our selves’ forgiveness for keeping them locked in that space of judgment for so long. We may also want to ask forgiveness from anyone else who may have been affected and perhaps offer our forgiveness.

"By replaying the event in our minds, we can choose a new ending using all that we now know. Imagine that you have actually gone back into the past and made this change, and then say goodbye to it. Release your former self with a hug and bring the forgiveness and love back with you to the present. Since we are usually our harshest critics, it is amazing how powerfully healing it can be to offer ourselves love.

"Keeping our minds and our energy fully in the present allows us to fuel our physical and emotional healing and well-being today. This action frees our energy to create the dreams we dream for the future. By taking responsibility and action in the present, we can release our hold on the past."

From DailyOm.com

Counting My Blessings

2007-09-20T19:27:00.000-04:00

"Today, I'm counting my blessings instead of my troubles. When I walked into the friendly atmosphere of my first AA meeting, I knew I was where I belonged. Here were people who had thought and felt as I had. Here was the understanding I'd been searching for all my life. These people were my friends, and I felt their sincere interest in me.

With these new and enlightening doors opening up to me, I was able to make the eventual decision to stop drinking, a day at a time -- because I, too, was an alcoholic. And with this came the only real freedom, the freedom of truth."

c. 1976AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 355

Thought to Consider . . .

If you love someone, tell them now.
Eternity is time enough for silence.

Staying in the Process of Love

2007-08-29T10:28:00.000-04:00

"If we are not careful, we can let ourselves get pushed into self-pity. To avoid that trap we must reaffirm our faith in the power of love to change things. When we cease to believe that a loving act is never wasted, we begin to sink into darkness and cynicism. A deep belief in the power of love means that we must make a commitment to keep on giving even when we cannot see any immediate results.

Love, after all, is not just an isolated act – it is a process that flows out of an attitude of optimism and hope. So what do I do in those moments when I don't feel like pouring my energy into loving acts? Keep on doing them! Have we not learned that love is not just a feeling but also an action?"

--Rev. Dr. Brooks Ramsey

Forgiveness Exercises

2007-08-29T10:23:00.000-04:00

"Here are ten ways to help you move towards contentment and forgiveness in your life and move away from toxic emotions. Go to a quiet place, preferably in your home, then relax for about 5-10 minutes and go through the following steps in your mind.

1. Calm your emotions through deep breathing.
2. Analyze the event from a logical, objective perspective.
3. Seek the truth and the facts.
4. Acknowledge the facts of what happened.
5. Know that you were mistreated.
6. Acknowledge that you were right.
7. Let the memory fade into history.
8. Let go of the anger and hateful energy that surrounds you.
9. Focus your thoughts on those who care about you in life.
10. Focus your thoughts on the things in life that you like.

By performing these simple steps on a daily basis, you should gradually notice that you feel more content and at peace with yourself. By focusing on those who love you and the things in life that you like, you will attract positive energy into your life…and that’s a good thing."

Read more in this Inspiration Newsletter

10 Tips for a Fearless Life

2007-08-29T10:00:00.000-04:00

"Fear. We've all felt its icy hand--whether it's a sudden grab, or a subtle, lingering presence. No matter how it functions in your life, no doubt you're happiest and most fulfilled when it's not at the wheel, steering.

In this gallery [from Beliefnet.com], Buddhist writer Susan Piver offers simple techniques you can apply to everyday fears--from asking for help to remembering to breathe."

The Blame Game Pain

2007-06-25T15:32:00.000-04:00

"As we begin to truly understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we may feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises.

"We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t truly feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behavior.

"Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behavior.

"Perhaps the problem lies with the activity of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward under the burdensome feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us.

"Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.

We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame."

From the DailyOM - Nurturing Mind Body & Spirit