April 27, 2008

Writing as a Spiritual Experience

Writing can be a true spiritual discipline. Writing can help us to concentrate, to get in touch with the deeper stirrings of our hearts, to clarify our minds, to process confusing emotions, to reflect on our experiences, to give artistic expression to what we are living, and to store significant events in our memories. Writing can also be good for others who might read what we write.

Quite often a difficult, painful, or frustrating day can be "redeemed" by writing about it. By writing we can claim what we have lived and thus integrate it more fully into our journeys. Then writing can become lifesaving for us and sometimes for others too.

--Henri Nouwen

Setting Boundaries

Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns.

Negative energy can have a powerful pull on us, especially if we're struggling to maintain positive energy and balance. It may seem that others who exude negative energy would like to pull us into the darkness with them. We do not have to go. Without judgment, we can decide it's okay to walk away, okay to protect ourselves.

We cannot change other people. It does not help others for us to get off balance. We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them.

Today, God, help me to know that I don't have to allow myself to be pulled into negativity -- even around those I love. Help me set boundaries. Help me know it's okay to take care of myself.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

April 26, 2008

Progress in Humility and Responsibility

All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 271

To acknowledge and respect the views, accomplishments and prerogatives of others and to accept being wrong shows me the way of humility. To practice the principles of A.A. in all my affairs guides me to be responsible. Honoring these precepts gives credence to Tradition Four--and to all other Traditions of the Fellowship. Alcoholics Anonymous has evolved a philosophy of life full of valid motivations, rich in highly relevant principles and ethical values, a view of life which can be extended beyond the confines of the alcoholic population. To honor these precepts I need only to pray, and care for my fellow man as if each one were my brother.

from Daily Reflections copyright AAWS

April 25, 2008

Rewards of Meditation and Prayer

"Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless. We know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter."

Bill W., Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 105
As Bill Sees It, p. 117

Thought to Consider . . .

Prayer is asking a question; meditation is listening to the answer.

AA Thoughts for Today

April 10, 2008

the Power of Self Acceptance

"Self-esteem and the ego are inversely related; like a see-saw, when one goes up the other goes down. Self-esteem, though, is not an all-or-nothing proposition; rather, it runs along a spectrum with many shades of gray. And the more self-esteem we have, the more "reality" we let in, and so the more clearly we can see our lives and the impact of our choices...

"When we lack self-esteem, we are often unable to look at ourselves as the cause of the problem, because we cannot afford to be wrong emotionally. Instead of conceding that we erred, we prefer to believe that "The world is unfair," or "People are crooked." Thus, the seedlings of neuroses and paranoia take root. Before our conscious mind is forced to accept an unpleasant reality, we may also realign values...something has to give. (While most people with low self-esteem will refuse to accept responsibility, those with even more extreme low self-esteem may beat themselves up and become angry and annoyed with themselves. Healthy self-esteem allows a person to recognize his mistakes, without condemning himself OR the world.)

..."A person who is emotionally unwell reacts to conflicts in the following ways: "You are wrong," or "This is just how I am." There is little room for, "I was wrong," the acknowledgment of personal responsibility. Such a person deflects the world and his own insecurities and, in the process, grows weaker, because the psychological self can only develop through acceptance. This is our emotional immune system. In the person who lacks self-esteem, the deflection response engages at all times. Everything is considered a threat to his psychological security.

"Every time we refuse to acknowledge the truth about any aspect of ourselves (or condemn ourselves for being imperfect), we send the unconscious message, 'I am inadequate.'

..."Denying the truth does not make it go away. It makes us -- the real us -- go away. If we are completely honest with ourselves (and by extension, with others), then the ego does not engage. It only survives and thrives in a world of falsehood. Unless we can accept ourselves, we cannot see past ourselves. We are too busy judging, blaming, and distorting our world.

"Once we have fully accepted something about ourselves or our lives, we no longer need to hide from it. We don't care who knows about it or who finds out, and we don't allow the reality to hold us back. At this point, our fears dissolve, because there is no longer a threat of exposing ourselves... The truth, once embraced, can never be bruised or injured, yet a delusion can be shattered by a whisper or a glance.

"There is nothing wrong in seeing ourselves as less than perfect; it is honest and healthy. This is a far cry from the person who sees his imperfections and then condemns himself as worthless or lacking. Unless we can accept ourselves, we cannot see past ourselves. We are too busy judging, blaming, and distorting our world..."

Read more in Rising Above Our Nature, Part One from which the foregoing was quoted.

Complacency: Too Busy for Recovery

"We must use what we learn or we will lose it, no matter how long we have been clean." Basic Text, p. 82

After putting some clean time together, some of us have a tendency to forget what our most important priority is. Once a week or less we say, "I've gotta get to a meeting tonight. It's been.. " We've been caught up in other things, important for sure, but no more so than our continued participation in Narcotics Anonymous.

It happens gradually. We get jobs. We reunite with our families. We're raising children, the dog is sick, or we're going to school at night. The house needs to be cleaned. The lawn needs to be mowed. We have to work late. We're tired. There's a good show at the theater tonight. And all of a sudden, we notice that we haven't called our sponsor, been to a meeting, spoken to a newcomer, or even talked to God in quite a while.

What do we do at this point? Well, we either renew our commitment to our recovery, or we continue being too busy to recover until something happens and our lives become unmanageable. Quite a choice! Our best bet is to put more of our energy into maintaining the foundation of recovery on which our lives are built. That foundation makes everything else possible, and it will surely crumble if we get too busy with
everything else.

Just for today: I can't afford to be too busy to recover I will do something today that sustains my recovery.

Just For Today Copyright Narcotics Anonymous

Slip Sliding Away

"Slips can often be charged to rebellion; some of us are more rebellious than others. Slips may be due to the illusion that one can be 'cured' of alcoholism. Slips can also be charged to carelessness and complacency. Many of us fail to ride out these periods sober. Things go fine for two or three years--then the member is seen no more.

Some of us suffer extreme guilt because of vices or practices that we can't or won't let go of. Too little self-forgiveness and too little prayer--well, this combination adds up to slips.

"Then some of us are far more alcohol-damaged than others. Still others encounter a series of calamities and cannot seem to find the spiritual resources to meet them. There are those of us who are physically ill. Others are subject to more or less continuous exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. These conditions often play a part in slips--sometimes they are utterly controlling."

Copyright ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC. - As Bill Sees It