AA Thought for the Day
(courtesy AAOnline.net)
May 31, 2005
A Lifetime Task
We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.
Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.
c. 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 84
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional,
growing spiritually is up to you.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
H O P E = Honesty, Open-mindedness, Patience, Effort.
May 31, 2005
May 29, 2005
The Threefold Answer
AA Thought for the Day
(courtesy AAOnline.net)
May 29, 2005
The Answer
The God I thought had judged me and damned me had done nothing of the sort. He had been listening, and in His own good time His answer came. His answer was threefold: the opportunity for a life of sobriety; Twelve Steps to practice, in order to attain and maintain that life of sobriety; fellowship within the program, ever ready to sustain and help me each twenty-four-hour day.
c. 1973 AAWS, Came To Believe. . ., p. 11
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Joy is in knowing there is an answer.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A A = Answer Available.
(courtesy AAOnline.net)
May 29, 2005
The Answer
The God I thought had judged me and damned me had done nothing of the sort. He had been listening, and in His own good time His answer came. His answer was threefold: the opportunity for a life of sobriety; Twelve Steps to practice, in order to attain and maintain that life of sobriety; fellowship within the program, ever ready to sustain and help me each twenty-four-hour day.
c. 1973 AAWS, Came To Believe. . ., p. 11
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Joy is in knowing there is an answer.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A A = Answer Available.
May 26, 2005
Unconditional Group Love
Just For Today
May 26 The Power in the group
"Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us.... We can call it the group, the program, or we can call it God." Basic Text, p. 24
Many of us have a hard time with the idea of a Higher Power until we fully accept the depth of our own powerlessness over addiction. Once we do, most of us are at least willing to consider seeking the help of some Power greater than our disease. The first practical exposure many of us have to that kind of Power is in the NA group. Perhaps that's where we should start in developing our own understanding of God.
One evidence of the Power in the group is the unconditional love show when NA members help one another without expectation of reward. The group's collective experience in recovery is itself a Power greater than our own, for the group has practical knowledge of what works and what doesn't And the fact that addicts keep coming to NA meetings, day after day, is a demonstration of the presence of a Higher Power, some attractive, caring force at work that helps addicts stay clean and grow.
All these things are evidence of a Power that can be found in NA groups. When we look around with an open mind, each of us will be able to identify other signs of that Power. It doesn't matter if we call it God, a Higher Power, or anything else—just as long as we find a way to incorporate that Power into our daily lives.
Just for today: I will open my eyes and my mind to signs of a Power that exists in my NA group. I will call upon that Power to help me stay clean. pg. 152
Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous © 1991 by World Service Office Inc.
May 26 The Power in the group
"Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us.... We can call it the group, the program, or we can call it God." Basic Text, p. 24
Many of us have a hard time with the idea of a Higher Power until we fully accept the depth of our own powerlessness over addiction. Once we do, most of us are at least willing to consider seeking the help of some Power greater than our disease. The first practical exposure many of us have to that kind of Power is in the NA group. Perhaps that's where we should start in developing our own understanding of God.
One evidence of the Power in the group is the unconditional love show when NA members help one another without expectation of reward. The group's collective experience in recovery is itself a Power greater than our own, for the group has practical knowledge of what works and what doesn't And the fact that addicts keep coming to NA meetings, day after day, is a demonstration of the presence of a Higher Power, some attractive, caring force at work that helps addicts stay clean and grow.
All these things are evidence of a Power that can be found in NA groups. When we look around with an open mind, each of us will be able to identify other signs of that Power. It doesn't matter if we call it God, a Higher Power, or anything else—just as long as we find a way to incorporate that Power into our daily lives.
Just for today: I will open my eyes and my mind to signs of a Power that exists in my NA group. I will call upon that Power to help me stay clean. pg. 152
Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous © 1991 by World Service Office Inc.
May 25, 2005
Anxiety Keeps Us from the Good Life
"What worries you, masters you."
--Haddon W. Robinson
Anxiety separates us from experiencing a great life. So caught up are we in our worry, we may even cut ourselves off from giving and receiving love.
God invites us into a fuller life in which we recognize that there is no anxiety that our Creator cannot handle, if we only remember to ask for help.
Mary Manin Morrissey
--Haddon W. Robinson
Anxiety separates us from experiencing a great life. So caught up are we in our worry, we may even cut ourselves off from giving and receiving love.
God invites us into a fuller life in which we recognize that there is no anxiety that our Creator cannot handle, if we only remember to ask for help.
Mary Manin Morrissey
May 23, 2005
Forgive Yourself as well as Others
AS BILL SEES IT
Start by Forgiving
The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us. Triumphantly we seize upon his slightest misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own.
Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. Let's remember that alcoholics are not the only ones bedeviled by sick emotions. In many instances we are really dealing with fellow sufferers, people whose woes we have increased.
If we are about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all?
TWELVE AND TWELVE, p. 78
Copyright®1967 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive others -- also myself.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 268
Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others are just two currents in the same river, both hindered or shut off completely by the dam of resentment. Once that dam is lifted, both currents can flow. The Steps of A.A. allow me to see how resentment has built up and subsequently blocked off this flow in my life. The Steps provide a way by which my resentments may -- by the grace of God as I understand Him -- be lifted. It is as a result of this solution that I can find the necessary grace which enables me to forgive myself and others.
©Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.©
STEP FIVE
Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 58
What a great feeling forgiveness is! What a revelation about my emotional, psychological and spiritual nature. All it takes is willingness to forgive; God will do the rest.
©Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.©
Start by Forgiving
The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us. Triumphantly we seize upon his slightest misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own.
Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. Let's remember that alcoholics are not the only ones bedeviled by sick emotions. In many instances we are really dealing with fellow sufferers, people whose woes we have increased.
If we are about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all?
TWELVE AND TWELVE, p. 78
Copyright®1967 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive others -- also myself.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 268
Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others are just two currents in the same river, both hindered or shut off completely by the dam of resentment. Once that dam is lifted, both currents can flow. The Steps of A.A. allow me to see how resentment has built up and subsequently blocked off this flow in my life. The Steps provide a way by which my resentments may -- by the grace of God as I understand Him -- be lifted. It is as a result of this solution that I can find the necessary grace which enables me to forgive myself and others.
©Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.©
STEP FIVE
Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 58
What a great feeling forgiveness is! What a revelation about my emotional, psychological and spiritual nature. All it takes is willingness to forgive; God will do the rest.
©Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.©
Patient Progress toward Peacefulness
Patience is a particular requirement. Without it, you can destroy in an hour what it might take you weeks to repair.
--Charlie W. Shedd
Enjoying the moment, in its fullest, makes possible a peaceful and patient pace. Progress is guaranteed if our minds are centered in the present, on the only event deserving of our attention. We can be certain that error and frustration will haunt us if our attentions are divided.
Patience will see us through a troubled time, but how much easier it is to savor patience when it's accompanied by faith. We can know and fully trust that all is well - that our lives are on course - that individual experiences are exactly what we need at this moment. However, faith makes the knowing easier and the softness of the patient heart eases us through the times of challenge and uncertainty.
Patience slows me down long enough to notice another, and to be grateful for the gifts of the moment. Patience promises me the power to move forward with purpose. Today's fruits will be in proportion to my patience.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
The Promise of a New Day: A Book of Daily Meditations
by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg C 1983, 1991
http://Open-Mind.org/Daily/Reading/36.htm
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
--Charlie W. Shedd
Enjoying the moment, in its fullest, makes possible a peaceful and patient pace. Progress is guaranteed if our minds are centered in the present, on the only event deserving of our attention. We can be certain that error and frustration will haunt us if our attentions are divided.
Patience will see us through a troubled time, but how much easier it is to savor patience when it's accompanied by faith. We can know and fully trust that all is well - that our lives are on course - that individual experiences are exactly what we need at this moment. However, faith makes the knowing easier and the softness of the patient heart eases us through the times of challenge and uncertainty.
Patience slows me down long enough to notice another, and to be grateful for the gifts of the moment. Patience promises me the power to move forward with purpose. Today's fruits will be in proportion to my patience.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
The Promise of a New Day: A Book of Daily Meditations
by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg C 1983, 1991
http://Open-Mind.org/Daily/Reading/36.htm
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Reliance Not Defiance
"'As psychiatrists have often observed defiance is the outstanding characteristic of
many an alcoholic. When we encountered AA, the fallacy of our defiance was revealed.
At no time had we asked what God's will was for us; instead we had been telling Him what it ought to be. No man, we saw, could believe in God and defy Him, too. Belief meant reliance, not defiance.
In AA we saw the fruits of this belief: men and women spared from alcohol's final catastrophe.'"
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 31
many an alcoholic. When we encountered AA, the fallacy of our defiance was revealed.
At no time had we asked what God's will was for us; instead we had been telling Him what it ought to be. No man, we saw, could believe in God and defy Him, too. Belief meant reliance, not defiance.
In AA we saw the fruits of this belief: men and women spared from alcohol's final catastrophe.'"
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 31
Freed from Prisons
As Bill Sees It
Freed Prisoners, p. 234
Letter to a prison group:
"Every A.A. has been, in a sense, a prisoner. Each of us has walled himself out of society; each has known social stigma. The lot of you folks has been even more difficult: In your case, society has also built a wall around you. But there isn't any really essential difference, a fact that practically all A.A.'s now know.
"Therefore, when you members come into the world of A.A. on the outside, you can be sure that no one will care a fig that you have done time. What you are trying to be--not what you were--is all that counts to us."
*******************************
"Mental and emotional difficulties are sometimes very hard to take while we are trying to maintain sobriety. Yet we do see, in the long run, that transcendence over such problems is the real test of the A.A. way of living. Adversity gives us more opportunity to grow than does comfort or success."
1. Letter, 1949
2. Letter, 1964
Freed Prisoners, p. 234
Letter to a prison group:
"Every A.A. has been, in a sense, a prisoner. Each of us has walled himself out of society; each has known social stigma. The lot of you folks has been even more difficult: In your case, society has also built a wall around you. But there isn't any really essential difference, a fact that practically all A.A.'s now know.
"Therefore, when you members come into the world of A.A. on the outside, you can be sure that no one will care a fig that you have done time. What you are trying to be--not what you were--is all that counts to us."
*******************************
"Mental and emotional difficulties are sometimes very hard to take while we are trying to maintain sobriety. Yet we do see, in the long run, that transcendence over such problems is the real test of the A.A. way of living. Adversity gives us more opportunity to grow than does comfort or success."
1. Letter, 1949
2. Letter, 1964
Acceptance is the Answer
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 449,417 4th Edition
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 449,417 4th Edition
Problems are Gifts
Today's thought is:
In life, the difficult periods are the best periods to gain experience and shore up determination. As a result, my mental status is much improved because of them.
--The Dalai Lama
Life is a process of meeting and solving problems. Solving problems is a way that we test and develop our spiritual muscle. Think of outstanding people such as Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, and Helen Keller. Lincoln faced the problem of a divided country; Gandhi, an oppressed India; Keller, her personal handicaps. In rising to meet their vision, courage, fortitude, and compassion, they became great not in spite of, but because of their problems.
Problems often come to us in the form of crisis. The Chinese glyph for the word crisis contains two symbols -- one means danger and the other opportunity. When an obstacle is before you, use it to create a beneficial result. As with Lincoln, Gandhi, and Keller, let your problems bring out your greatness.
Rather than pray for a life that is problem-free, ask for one that is solution-full. Instead of requesting that God remove the mountain before you, seek the strength to climb it. Remember that the best students always get the toughest problems. Love the problems you have, and their priceless gifts will be yours.
You are reading from the book:
Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch
Copyright 1991, by Douglas Bloch
In life, the difficult periods are the best periods to gain experience and shore up determination. As a result, my mental status is much improved because of them.
--The Dalai Lama
Life is a process of meeting and solving problems. Solving problems is a way that we test and develop our spiritual muscle. Think of outstanding people such as Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, and Helen Keller. Lincoln faced the problem of a divided country; Gandhi, an oppressed India; Keller, her personal handicaps. In rising to meet their vision, courage, fortitude, and compassion, they became great not in spite of, but because of their problems.
Problems often come to us in the form of crisis. The Chinese glyph for the word crisis contains two symbols -- one means danger and the other opportunity. When an obstacle is before you, use it to create a beneficial result. As with Lincoln, Gandhi, and Keller, let your problems bring out your greatness.
Rather than pray for a life that is problem-free, ask for one that is solution-full. Instead of requesting that God remove the mountain before you, seek the strength to climb it. Remember that the best students always get the toughest problems. Love the problems you have, and their priceless gifts will be yours.
You are reading from the book:
Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch
Copyright 1991, by Douglas Bloch
May 22, 2005
A Sense of Clarity, Direction and Peace
Our Higher Power's will
"God's will for us becomes our own true will for ourselves."
Basic Text, p. 46
The Twelve Steps are a path to spiritual awakening. This awakening takes the form of a developing relationship with a loving Higher Power. Each succeeding step strengthens that relationship. As we continue to work the steps, the relationship grows, becoming ever more important in our lives.
In the course of working the steps, we make a personal decision to allow a loving Higher Power to direct us. That guidance is always available; we need only the patience to seek it. Often, that guidance manifests itself in the inner wisdom we call our conscience.
When we open our hearts wide enough to sense our Higher Power's guidance, we feel a calm serenity. This peace is the beacon that guides us through our troubled feelings, providing clear direction when our minds are busy and confused. When we seek and follow God's will in our lives, we find the contentment and joy that often elude us when we strike out on our own. Fear or doubt may plague us when we attempt to carry out our Higher Power's will, but we've learned to trust the moment of clarity. Our greatest happiness lies in following the will of our loving God.
Just for today: I will seek to strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power. I know from experience that knowledge of my Higher Power's will provides a sense of clarity, direction, and peace. pg. 142
Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.
"God's will for us becomes our own true will for ourselves."
Basic Text, p. 46
The Twelve Steps are a path to spiritual awakening. This awakening takes the form of a developing relationship with a loving Higher Power. Each succeeding step strengthens that relationship. As we continue to work the steps, the relationship grows, becoming ever more important in our lives.
In the course of working the steps, we make a personal decision to allow a loving Higher Power to direct us. That guidance is always available; we need only the patience to seek it. Often, that guidance manifests itself in the inner wisdom we call our conscience.
When we open our hearts wide enough to sense our Higher Power's guidance, we feel a calm serenity. This peace is the beacon that guides us through our troubled feelings, providing clear direction when our minds are busy and confused. When we seek and follow God's will in our lives, we find the contentment and joy that often elude us when we strike out on our own. Fear or doubt may plague us when we attempt to carry out our Higher Power's will, but we've learned to trust the moment of clarity. Our greatest happiness lies in following the will of our loving God.
Just for today: I will seek to strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power. I know from experience that knowledge of my Higher Power's will provides a sense of clarity, direction, and peace. pg. 142
Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.
May 19, 2005
One Day at a Time Recovery
Mercy
I had the shakes, I cried all the time, I couldn't sleep, I craved sweets, but I would eat them and get sick. Fortunately, God didn't give up on me even when I was ready to give up on myself.
I went to a meeting every day for ninety days, got a sponsor, and didn't drink one day at a time. Slowly, God began to fill that hole in my heart with His goodness and mercy.
AA Grapevine, June 2005, p. 22
Thought to Ponder . . .
Don't give up before the miracle happens.
I had the shakes, I cried all the time, I couldn't sleep, I craved sweets, but I would eat them and get sick. Fortunately, God didn't give up on me even when I was ready to give up on myself.
I went to a meeting every day for ninety days, got a sponsor, and didn't drink one day at a time. Slowly, God began to fill that hole in my heart with His goodness and mercy.
AA Grapevine, June 2005, p. 22
Thought to Ponder . . .
Don't give up before the miracle happens.
This is What Forgiveness Is
One forgives to the degree that one loves.
--La Rochefaucould
We all get hurt by other people sometimes. When this happens, we have choices. We can get angry and stay that way. We can act like it didn't hurt and try to forget it. We can act like a sad sack and hold a grudge. Or we can forgive.
We first have to think about how someone hurt us. It often helps to talk to the person, to tell the person that he or she hurt us. We then tell the person what we'd like from him or her to help set our relationship straight. Then we let go.
This is what forgiveness is: (1) loving ourselves enough to stand up for ourselves, (2) loving others enough to point out their behavior, and (3) letting go.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, help me lovingly forgive those who have hurt me.
Action for the Day
I will list five persons who have hurt me. Have I forgiven them? I will talk to my sponsor about it today.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Keep It Simple
Daily Meditations for 12-Step Beginnings & Renewal
By Anonymous C 1989
http://Open-Mind.org/Daily/Reading/12.htm
--La Rochefaucould
We all get hurt by other people sometimes. When this happens, we have choices. We can get angry and stay that way. We can act like it didn't hurt and try to forget it. We can act like a sad sack and hold a grudge. Or we can forgive.
We first have to think about how someone hurt us. It often helps to talk to the person, to tell the person that he or she hurt us. We then tell the person what we'd like from him or her to help set our relationship straight. Then we let go.
This is what forgiveness is: (1) loving ourselves enough to stand up for ourselves, (2) loving others enough to point out their behavior, and (3) letting go.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, help me lovingly forgive those who have hurt me.
Action for the Day
I will list five persons who have hurt me. Have I forgiven them? I will talk to my sponsor about it today.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Keep It Simple
Daily Meditations for 12-Step Beginnings & Renewal
By Anonymous C 1989
http://Open-Mind.org/Daily/Reading/12.htm
May 18, 2005
Finding Healing Places
Healing Places
There is a place in each of us that wants to heal, that can heal, that will heal. It's a peaceful place, one of nourishment, replenishment, peace, safety, comfort and joy. It's a place of love and acceptance. It's a place of forgiveness, honesty, openness, nurturing, and kindness. You can find it quickly if that's what you're seeking. You will recognize it instantly because of how it feels. It will bring you back to center. It will bring you back to calm. It will bring you back to joy.
Find a place of healing. Then go there often. They are yours for the asking, yours for the seeking. Healing places are an important part of the journey."
by Melody Beattie ©
There is a place in each of us that wants to heal, that can heal, that will heal. It's a peaceful place, one of nourishment, replenishment, peace, safety, comfort and joy. It's a place of love and acceptance. It's a place of forgiveness, honesty, openness, nurturing, and kindness. You can find it quickly if that's what you're seeking. You will recognize it instantly because of how it feels. It will bring you back to center. It will bring you back to calm. It will bring you back to joy.
Find a place of healing. Then go there often. They are yours for the asking, yours for the seeking. Healing places are an important part of the journey."
by Melody Beattie ©
Making Amends Can Be Simple
Just for Today
May 18
Friends And Amends—Keeping It Simple
"We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
Step Nine
In every relationship, we don't always handle things the way we would have hoped. But friendships don't have to end when we make mistakes; instead, we can make amends. If we are sincerely willing to accept the responsibilities involved in friendship and make the amends we owe, those friendships can become stronger and richer than ever.
Making amends is simple. We approach the person we have harmed and say, "I was wrong." Sometimes we avoid getting to the point, evading an admission of our own part in the affair. But that frustrates the intent of the Ninth Step. To make effective amends, we have to keep it simple: we admit our part, and leave it at that.
There will be times when our friends won't accept our amends. Perhaps they need time to process what has happened. If that is the case, we must give them that time. After all, we were the ones in the wrong, not them. We have done our part; the rest is out of our hands.
Just for today: I want to be a responsible friend. I will strive to keep it simple when making amends.
pg. 144 postamble();
May 18
Friends And Amends—Keeping It Simple
"We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
Step Nine
In every relationship, we don't always handle things the way we would have hoped. But friendships don't have to end when we make mistakes; instead, we can make amends. If we are sincerely willing to accept the responsibilities involved in friendship and make the amends we owe, those friendships can become stronger and richer than ever.
Making amends is simple. We approach the person we have harmed and say, "I was wrong." Sometimes we avoid getting to the point, evading an admission of our own part in the affair. But that frustrates the intent of the Ninth Step. To make effective amends, we have to keep it simple: we admit our part, and leave it at that.
There will be times when our friends won't accept our amends. Perhaps they need time to process what has happened. If that is the case, we must give them that time. After all, we were the ones in the wrong, not them. We have done our part; the rest is out of our hands.
Just for today: I want to be a responsible friend. I will strive to keep it simple when making amends.
pg. 144 postamble();
Good Advice
Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your friends feel there is something special in them.
Look at the sunny side of everything. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give everyone a smile.
Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.
--Christian D. Larsen
Look at the sunny side of everything. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give everyone a smile.
Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.
--Christian D. Larsen
May 17, 2005
It's Never "All Or Nothing"- We Have Choices
In time of crisis, or even in time of discomfort, know that you always have choices. You may not realize that you have options; you may not see the whole picture.
Take time to see the situation in a different light. Nothing is ever all or nothing. There’s no situation that’s merely black-and-white. We’re in a Creation that’s infinitely variable. There’s always another way.
Take your time, get creative, relax and analyze your possibilities. Share your feelings and needs with another person: a friend, counselor, or spiritual guide. Then pray for God to show you the way.
Give it all to God, and be open to see and experience new realities.
From What Are You TrulyNorris Chumley, author of The Joy of Weight Loss -- Beliefnet.com.
Take time to see the situation in a different light. Nothing is ever all or nothing. There’s no situation that’s merely black-and-white. We’re in a Creation that’s infinitely variable. There’s always another way.
Take your time, get creative, relax and analyze your possibilities. Share your feelings and needs with another person: a friend, counselor, or spiritual guide. Then pray for God to show you the way.
Give it all to God, and be open to see and experience new realities.
From What Are You TrulyNorris Chumley, author of The Joy of Weight Loss -- Beliefnet.com.
May 16, 2005
Guidelines for Forgiveness
"The poets and mystics among us have long known and declared that the act of forgiveness releases great healing power.
Author and minister Charles Fillmore recommended forgiveness as the most effective way of restoring inner harmony and balance: "There is a mental treatment guaranteed to cure every ill that flesh is heir to: Sit for half an hour every night and forgive everyone against whom you have any ill will or antipathy," he wrote.
While forgiveness has always been an important concept in religion and ethics, only recently have psychologists begun to discover its powers as a psychotherapeutic tool. In three separate studies, people who had not resolved the wrongs done to them - college students, elderly women, and incest survivors - all improved when therapists helped them learn to forgive. Although an increasing number of counselors recommend that we forgive those who have hurt us, many people find forgiveness difficult to offer. Here are 10 guidelines to help extend forgiveness and ease resentment.
1. Educate yourself about forgiveness. "Forgive," according to Webster's New World Dictionary, means: "to give up resentment against or the desire to punish; pardon; to overlook an offense; to cancel a debt." Thus, the goal of forgiveness is to let go of a hurt and move ahead with life. Visit a library and research books or magazine articles on forgiveness so that you understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy forgiveness. For example, Robert Enright, Ph.D., an education psychologist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, stresses that true forgiveness is not:
-Forgetting. If the hurt wounded you enough to require forgiveness, you may always have a memory of it.
-Excusing or condoning. The wrong should not be denied, minimized, or justified.
-Reconciling. You can forgive the offender and still choose not to reestablish the relationship.
-Weakness. You do not become a doormat or oblivious to cruelty.
2. Spend a few minutes each day cleaning out your thinking...
3. Practice on small hurts...
4. Challenge the "shoulds" in your thinking. Forgiveness is much easier when you give up the irrational belief which fuels your frustration, anger, and hostility - the expectation that other people will always act in the way you want. Beware of the "shoulds" in your thinking and speaking:
-He shouldn't have done this to me.
-She shouldn't act that way.
-My daughter should have known better.
-My son should be more attentive to me.
-I've worked hard and I should have been rewarded.
Whenever you find the word "should" in your mind and talk, challenge yourself. Tell yourself it is unrealistic to expect that people will always act decently and respectfully toward you. Remind yourself that everyone is fallible and capable of making a mistake.
5. Understand that resentment has a high price tag... Whenever a hostile or hateful thought enters your mind, try to be fully aware of the harm that resentment can do to you, even making you ill. Let that knowledge further motivate you to forgive and let go.
6. Remember: Lack of forgiveness is giving others power over you. Withholding forgiveness and nursing resentment simply allow another person to have control over your well-being. It is always a mistake to let such negative emotions influence your living. Forgive, and you will be able to direct your life in positive thoughts and actions...
7. Recognize the ripple effect of harboring a grudge...
8. Bury the grudge - literally. Write a letter to the person who hurt you but don't mail it. Express fully, clearly, honestly how you feel and why that person's act hurt you and made you angry. Conclude with the bold declaration that you have forgiven him or her. Then, bury the letter in a potted plant or somewhere in your yard. This is a powerful symbolic exercise which many people have found to be extremely therapeutic.
9. Try instant forgiveness...
10. Recall repeatedly this one vital fact: forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. A former inmate of a Nazi concentration camp was visiting a friend who shared the ordeal with him.
"Have you forgiven the Nazis?" he asked his friend.
"Yes."
"Well, I haven't. I'm still consumed with hatred for them," the other man declared.
"In that case," said his friend gently, "they still have you in prison."
That story points out this reality: ultimately, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Bitterness and anger imprison you emotionally. Forgiveness sets you free.
From Victor Parachin, 10 Guidelines for Forgiveness.
Author and minister Charles Fillmore recommended forgiveness as the most effective way of restoring inner harmony and balance: "There is a mental treatment guaranteed to cure every ill that flesh is heir to: Sit for half an hour every night and forgive everyone against whom you have any ill will or antipathy," he wrote.
While forgiveness has always been an important concept in religion and ethics, only recently have psychologists begun to discover its powers as a psychotherapeutic tool. In three separate studies, people who had not resolved the wrongs done to them - college students, elderly women, and incest survivors - all improved when therapists helped them learn to forgive. Although an increasing number of counselors recommend that we forgive those who have hurt us, many people find forgiveness difficult to offer. Here are 10 guidelines to help extend forgiveness and ease resentment.
1. Educate yourself about forgiveness. "Forgive," according to Webster's New World Dictionary, means: "to give up resentment against or the desire to punish; pardon; to overlook an offense; to cancel a debt." Thus, the goal of forgiveness is to let go of a hurt and move ahead with life. Visit a library and research books or magazine articles on forgiveness so that you understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy forgiveness. For example, Robert Enright, Ph.D., an education psychologist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, stresses that true forgiveness is not:
-Forgetting. If the hurt wounded you enough to require forgiveness, you may always have a memory of it.
-Excusing or condoning. The wrong should not be denied, minimized, or justified.
-Reconciling. You can forgive the offender and still choose not to reestablish the relationship.
-Weakness. You do not become a doormat or oblivious to cruelty.
2. Spend a few minutes each day cleaning out your thinking...
3. Practice on small hurts...
4. Challenge the "shoulds" in your thinking. Forgiveness is much easier when you give up the irrational belief which fuels your frustration, anger, and hostility - the expectation that other people will always act in the way you want. Beware of the "shoulds" in your thinking and speaking:
-He shouldn't have done this to me.
-She shouldn't act that way.
-My daughter should have known better.
-My son should be more attentive to me.
-I've worked hard and I should have been rewarded.
Whenever you find the word "should" in your mind and talk, challenge yourself. Tell yourself it is unrealistic to expect that people will always act decently and respectfully toward you. Remind yourself that everyone is fallible and capable of making a mistake.
5. Understand that resentment has a high price tag... Whenever a hostile or hateful thought enters your mind, try to be fully aware of the harm that resentment can do to you, even making you ill. Let that knowledge further motivate you to forgive and let go.
6. Remember: Lack of forgiveness is giving others power over you. Withholding forgiveness and nursing resentment simply allow another person to have control over your well-being. It is always a mistake to let such negative emotions influence your living. Forgive, and you will be able to direct your life in positive thoughts and actions...
7. Recognize the ripple effect of harboring a grudge...
8. Bury the grudge - literally. Write a letter to the person who hurt you but don't mail it. Express fully, clearly, honestly how you feel and why that person's act hurt you and made you angry. Conclude with the bold declaration that you have forgiven him or her. Then, bury the letter in a potted plant or somewhere in your yard. This is a powerful symbolic exercise which many people have found to be extremely therapeutic.
9. Try instant forgiveness...
10. Recall repeatedly this one vital fact: forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. A former inmate of a Nazi concentration camp was visiting a friend who shared the ordeal with him.
"Have you forgiven the Nazis?" he asked his friend.
"Yes."
"Well, I haven't. I'm still consumed with hatred for them," the other man declared.
"In that case," said his friend gently, "they still have you in prison."
That story points out this reality: ultimately, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Bitterness and anger imprison you emotionally. Forgiveness sets you free.
From Victor Parachin, 10 Guidelines for Forgiveness.
May the Force Be With Us
A.A. Thought for the Day
Fellowship is a big part of staying sober. The doctors call it group therapy. We never go to an A.A. meeting without taking something out of it. Sometimes we don't feel like going to a meeting and we think of excuses for not going. But we usually end up by going anyway and we always get some lift out of every meeting. Meetings are part of keeping sober. And we get more out of a meeting if we try to contribute something to it. Am I contributing my share at meetings?
©Hazelden Foundation PO Box 176 Center City, MN 55012©
Fellowship is a big part of staying sober. The doctors call it group therapy. We never go to an A.A. meeting without taking something out of it. Sometimes we don't feel like going to a meeting and we think of excuses for not going. But we usually end up by going anyway and we always get some lift out of every meeting. Meetings are part of keeping sober. And we get more out of a meeting if we try to contribute something to it. Am I contributing my share at meetings?
©Hazelden Foundation PO Box 176 Center City, MN 55012©
May 15, 2005
Humility Means Thinking of Yourself Less
Humility
The subject of humility is a difficult one. Humility is not thinking less of myself than I ought to; it is acknowledging that I do certain things well, it is accepting a compliment graciously.
God can only do for me what He can do through me. Humility is the result of knowing that God is the doer, not me.
c. 1990 AAWS, Daily Reflections, p. 199 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
The subject of humility is a difficult one. Humility is not thinking less of myself than I ought to; it is acknowledging that I do certain things well, it is accepting a compliment graciously.
God can only do for me what He can do through me. Humility is the result of knowing that God is the doer, not me.
c. 1990 AAWS, Daily Reflections, p. 199 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
Spiritual Practices Lead to Love
"It doesn't matter what spiritual practice you do as long as it takes you into your heart and helps you connect with the Source of Love. If it does that, then stay with it throughout all the twists and turns of your life. Hold to your practice. It is your lifeline. When storms come up unexpectedly, it keeps you afloat. Ever so gradually, it brings you home."
Paul Ferrini
Paul Ferrini
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