Change is the characteristic of all growth. From drinking to sobriety, from dishonesty to honesty, from conflict to serenity, from hate to love, from childish dependence to adult responsibility - all this and infinitely more represent change for the better.
Such changes are accomplished by a belief in and a practice of sound principles. Here we must needs discard bad or ineffective principles in favor of good ones that work. Even good principles can sometimes be displaced by the discovery of still better ones.
Only God is unchanging; only He has all the truth there is.
As Bill Sees It - Only God Is Unchanging
LETTER, 1966
Copyright®1967 AAWS
February 17, 2007
Surprised by Joy
"A.A. *is* a joyful program! Even so, I occasionally balk at taking the necessary steps to move ahead, and find myself resisting the very actions that could bring about the joy I want. I would not resist if those actions did not touch some vulnerable area of my life, an area that needs hope and fulfillment. Repeated exposure to joyfulness has a way of softening the hard, outer edges of my ego. Therein lies the power of joyfulness to help all members of A.A."
© 1990 AAWS, Inc.; Daily Reflections, pg. 372
© 1990 AAWS, Inc.; Daily Reflections, pg. 372
February 16, 2007
Seeing the Beauty and Goodness in Front of Us
We don't have to go far to find the treasure we are seeking. There is beauty and goodness right where we are. And only when we can see the beauty and goodness that are close by can we recognize beauty and goodness on our travels far and wide. There are trees and flowers to enjoy, paintings and sculptures to admire; most of all there are people who smile, play, and show kindness and gentleness. They are all around us, to be recognized as free gifts to receive in gratitude.
Our temptation is to collect all the beauty and goodness surrounding us as helpful information we can use for our projects. But then we cannot enjoy it, and we soon find that we need a vacation to restore ourselves. Let's try to see the beauty and goodness in front of us before we go elsewhere to look for it.
--Henri Nouwen
Our temptation is to collect all the beauty and goodness surrounding us as helpful information we can use for our projects. But then we cannot enjoy it, and we soon find that we need a vacation to restore ourselves. Let's try to see the beauty and goodness in front of us before we go elsewhere to look for it.
--Henri Nouwen
Nurturing a Sense of Belonging
Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless.
The moment we catch even a glimpse of God's will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs. We know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter.
TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 105
copyright AAWS
The moment we catch even a glimpse of God's will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs. We know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter.
TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 105
copyright AAWS
The Equation of Love
We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47
I was always fascinated with the study of scientific principles. I was emotionally and physically distant from people while I pursued Absolute Knowledge. God and spirituality were meaningless academic exercises. I was a modem man of science, knowledge was my Higher Power. Given the right set of equations, life was merely another problem to solve. Yet my inner self was dying from my outer man's solution to life's problems and the solution was alcohol.
In spite of my intelligence, alcohol became my Higher Power. It was through the unconditional love which emanated from A.A. people and meetings that I was able to discard alcohol as my Higher Power. The great void was filled. I was no longer lonely and apart from life. I had found a true power greater than myself, I had found God's love. There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is in A.A.
From Daily Reflections
Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.
When I was driven to my knees by alcohol,I was made ready to ask for the gift of faith. And all was changed. Never again, my pains and problems notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I saw the universe to be lighted by God's love; I was alone no more.
Bill W., Letter, 1966
c. 1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 51
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47
I was always fascinated with the study of scientific principles. I was emotionally and physically distant from people while I pursued Absolute Knowledge. God and spirituality were meaningless academic exercises. I was a modem man of science, knowledge was my Higher Power. Given the right set of equations, life was merely another problem to solve. Yet my inner self was dying from my outer man's solution to life's problems and the solution was alcohol.
In spite of my intelligence, alcohol became my Higher Power. It was through the unconditional love which emanated from A.A. people and meetings that I was able to discard alcohol as my Higher Power. The great void was filled. I was no longer lonely and apart from life. I had found a true power greater than myself, I had found God's love. There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is in A.A.
From Daily Reflections
Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.
When I was driven to my knees by alcohol,I was made ready to ask for the gift of faith. And all was changed. Never again, my pains and problems notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I saw the universe to be lighted by God's love; I was alone no more.
Bill W., Letter, 1966
c. 1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 51
February 14, 2007
A Program of Action
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
--John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.
--Karl Barth
From GRATEFULNESS.ORG - A Network for Grateful Living
--John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.
--Karl Barth
From GRATEFULNESS.ORG - A Network for Grateful Living
The Power to Choose
We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, and of our surroundings - that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can really choose.
<<<>>>
"As active alcoholics, we lost our ability to choose whether we would drink. We were the victims of a compulsion which seemed to decree that we must go on with our own destruction.
"Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. We came to believe that alone we were powerless over alcohol. This was surely a choice, and a most difficult one. We came to believe that a Higher Power could restore us to sanity when we became willing to practice A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
"In short, we chose to "become willing," and no better choice did we ever make."
From As Bill Sees It Copyright AAWS
1. GRAPEVINE, NOVEMBER 1960 - 2. LETTER, 1966
<<<>>>
"As active alcoholics, we lost our ability to choose whether we would drink. We were the victims of a compulsion which seemed to decree that we must go on with our own destruction.
"Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. We came to believe that alone we were powerless over alcohol. This was surely a choice, and a most difficult one. We came to believe that a Higher Power could restore us to sanity when we became willing to practice A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
"In short, we chose to "become willing," and no better choice did we ever make."
From As Bill Sees It Copyright AAWS
1. GRAPEVINE, NOVEMBER 1960 - 2. LETTER, 1966
February 13, 2007
Moving from Fear to Love
As a young adult, I considered myself an agnostic -- I didn't know if God existed or not, at least that is what I told myself. In 1975 I become a part of 12 Step Recovery and at each meeting I heard the words "God" and "Higher Power." I grimaced, I had an attitude -- I internally ridiculed and mocked whoever spoke such words thinking how queer it was.
As I endeavored to work The Program, however, I discovered that my proclaimed agnosticism was really a cover up for fear. I did, in fact,believe in God, but I didn't want to, because my Higher Power was a punishing God. The song tells us that Santa Claus "knows when you've been good or bad so be good for goodness sakes." Well, that also described my Higher Power.
I had spent years and years convincing others how good I was, but I knew and therefore God knew about all the "little bads" (telling my brother to stick his lip on the ice cube tray and when it pulled off some skin feigning ignorance and compassion-- "Oh, you poor thing, I didn't know that would happen." Or the little deceits such as paying someone a compliment and then making fun of that person in my head. Or pretending to always be happy, good, and loving -- when I felt just the opposite). I saw myself as a phony and God knew about the deception.
Therefore, if I believed there was a God, then I was in trouble because He was keeping track and knew that I was deceitful, dishonest, and not the person I pretended to be. And since, "He knows when you've been good or badŠ" I was in for some big time punishment. My greatest moments of inner terror occurred after my second child was born. I had two healthy children (first a girl, then a boy, just what I wanted). I had a successful husband, a lovely home with two cars in the garage, etc., etc.
My fear: payback time. And what better way to get back at me than through my children. So each day I awoke riddled with fear -- is today the day God will strike one of my children with an incurable disease? I lived this way for months and it was pure agony.
My turning point came at a 12 Step Retreat weekend when my son was about nine months old. I heard the main speaker talk about God saying "God loves me no matter what." That got my attention -- I had believed that I had to be good to get love, from my parents, from God, from everyone. Unconditional love, what a concept! My spiritual awakening was not a bolt of lightening. But it began that day as I chose to open to an unconditionally loving Higher Power.
It was a lot like the soaker hose I use in my garden. When I turn it on, you can hardly see the water that is dripping out, but in the morning the ground is saturated. Opening to an unconditionally loving Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, has allowed me to feel saturated with God's love. It has opened me to a love far beyond what I had ever received on this earth plane.
I no longer believe there is a punishing God -- my Higher Power loves me no matter what! I am profoundly grateful that I have had a spiritual awakening. Instead of the fear I once felt, I now only feel love.
Meryl Hershey Beck
www.energizedforlife.com
As I endeavored to work The Program, however, I discovered that my proclaimed agnosticism was really a cover up for fear. I did, in fact,believe in God, but I didn't want to, because my Higher Power was a punishing God. The song tells us that Santa Claus "knows when you've been good or bad so be good for goodness sakes." Well, that also described my Higher Power.
I had spent years and years convincing others how good I was, but I knew and therefore God knew about all the "little bads" (telling my brother to stick his lip on the ice cube tray and when it pulled off some skin feigning ignorance and compassion-- "Oh, you poor thing, I didn't know that would happen." Or the little deceits such as paying someone a compliment and then making fun of that person in my head. Or pretending to always be happy, good, and loving -- when I felt just the opposite). I saw myself as a phony and God knew about the deception.
Therefore, if I believed there was a God, then I was in trouble because He was keeping track and knew that I was deceitful, dishonest, and not the person I pretended to be. And since, "He knows when you've been good or badŠ" I was in for some big time punishment. My greatest moments of inner terror occurred after my second child was born. I had two healthy children (first a girl, then a boy, just what I wanted). I had a successful husband, a lovely home with two cars in the garage, etc., etc.
My fear: payback time. And what better way to get back at me than through my children. So each day I awoke riddled with fear -- is today the day God will strike one of my children with an incurable disease? I lived this way for months and it was pure agony.
My turning point came at a 12 Step Retreat weekend when my son was about nine months old. I heard the main speaker talk about God saying "God loves me no matter what." That got my attention -- I had believed that I had to be good to get love, from my parents, from God, from everyone. Unconditional love, what a concept! My spiritual awakening was not a bolt of lightening. But it began that day as I chose to open to an unconditionally loving Higher Power.
It was a lot like the soaker hose I use in my garden. When I turn it on, you can hardly see the water that is dripping out, but in the morning the ground is saturated. Opening to an unconditionally loving Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, has allowed me to feel saturated with God's love. It has opened me to a love far beyond what I had ever received on this earth plane.
I no longer believe there is a punishing God -- my Higher Power loves me no matter what! I am profoundly grateful that I have had a spiritual awakening. Instead of the fear I once felt, I now only feel love.
Meryl Hershey Beck
www.energizedforlife.com
Feel the Pain, then Go On
Feelings of hurt or anger can be some of the most difficult to face. We can feel so vulnerable, frightened, and powerless when these feelings appear. And these feelings may trigger memories of other, similar times when we felt powerless.
Sometimes, to gain a sense of control, we may punish the people around us, whether they are people we blame for these feelings or innocent bystanders. We may try to "get even," or we may manipulate behind people's backs to gain a sense of power over the situation.
These actions may give us a temporary feeling of satisfaction, but they only postpone facing our pain.
Feeling hurt does not have to be so frightening. We do not have to work so hard to avoid it. While hurt feelings aren't as much fun as feeling happy, they are, still, just feelings.
We can surrender to them, feel them, and go on. That does not mean we have to seek out hurt feelings or dwell unnecessarily on them. Emotional pain does not have to devastate us. We can sit still, feel the pain, figure out if there's something we need to do to take care of ourselves, and then go on with our life.
We do not have to act in haste; we do not have to punish others to get control over our feelings. We can begin sharing our hurt feelings with others. That brings relief and often healing to them and to us.
Eventually, we learn the lesson that real power comes from allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel hurt. Real power comes from knowing we can take care of ourselves, even when we feel emotional pain. Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.
Today, I will surrender to my feelings, even the emotionally painful ones. Instead of acting in haste, or attempting to punish someone, I will be vulnerable enough to feel my feelings.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Sometimes, to gain a sense of control, we may punish the people around us, whether they are people we blame for these feelings or innocent bystanders. We may try to "get even," or we may manipulate behind people's backs to gain a sense of power over the situation.
These actions may give us a temporary feeling of satisfaction, but they only postpone facing our pain.
Feeling hurt does not have to be so frightening. We do not have to work so hard to avoid it. While hurt feelings aren't as much fun as feeling happy, they are, still, just feelings.
We can surrender to them, feel them, and go on. That does not mean we have to seek out hurt feelings or dwell unnecessarily on them. Emotional pain does not have to devastate us. We can sit still, feel the pain, figure out if there's something we need to do to take care of ourselves, and then go on with our life.
We do not have to act in haste; we do not have to punish others to get control over our feelings. We can begin sharing our hurt feelings with others. That brings relief and often healing to them and to us.
Eventually, we learn the lesson that real power comes from allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel hurt. Real power comes from knowing we can take care of ourselves, even when we feel emotional pain. Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.
Today, I will surrender to my feelings, even the emotionally painful ones. Instead of acting in haste, or attempting to punish someone, I will be vulnerable enough to feel my feelings.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
February 12, 2007
Recovery is a Chance at a New Life
"Narcotics Anonymous offers addicts a program of recovery that is more than just a life without drugs. Not only is this way of life better than the hell we lived, it is better than any life that we have ever known." Basic Text p. 103
Few of us have any interest in "recovering" what we had before we started using. Many of us suffered severely from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Getting high and staying high seemed like the only possible way to cope with such abuse. Others suffered in less noticeable but equally painful ways before addiction took hold. We lacked direction and purpose. We were spiritually empty. We felt isolated, unable to empathize with others. We had none of the things that give life its sense and value. We took drugs in a vain attempt to fill the emptiness inside ourselves. Most of us wouldn't want to "recover" what we used to have.
Ultimately, the recovery we find in NA is something different: a chance at a new life. We've been given tools to clear the wreckage from our lives. We've been given support in courageously setting forth on a new path. And we've been given the gift of conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, providing us with the inner strength and direction we so sorely lacked in the past.
Recovering? Yes, in every way. We're recovering a whole new life, better than anything we ever dreamed possible. We are grateful.
Just for today: I've recovered something I never had, something I never imagined possible: the life of a recovering addict. Thank you, Higher Power, in more than words can say.
Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.
Few of us have any interest in "recovering" what we had before we started using. Many of us suffered severely from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Getting high and staying high seemed like the only possible way to cope with such abuse. Others suffered in less noticeable but equally painful ways before addiction took hold. We lacked direction and purpose. We were spiritually empty. We felt isolated, unable to empathize with others. We had none of the things that give life its sense and value. We took drugs in a vain attempt to fill the emptiness inside ourselves. Most of us wouldn't want to "recover" what we used to have.
Ultimately, the recovery we find in NA is something different: a chance at a new life. We've been given tools to clear the wreckage from our lives. We've been given support in courageously setting forth on a new path. And we've been given the gift of conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, providing us with the inner strength and direction we so sorely lacked in the past.
Recovering? Yes, in every way. We're recovering a whole new life, better than anything we ever dreamed possible. We are grateful.
Just for today: I've recovered something I never had, something I never imagined possible: the life of a recovering addict. Thank you, Higher Power, in more than words can say.
Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.
The Realm of Spirit is Roomy
In ancient times material progress was painfully slow. The spirit of modern scientific inquiry, research, and invention was almost unknown.
In the realm of the material, men's minds were lettered by superstition, tradition, and all sorts of fixed ideas. Some of the contemporaries of Columbus thought a round earth preposterous. Others came near putting Galileo to death for his astronomical heresies.
Are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material?
<<<>>>
We have found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the realm of spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive, never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all...
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS - 1. p. 51 - 2. p. 46
From AS BILL SEES IT copyright AAWS
In the realm of the material, men's minds were lettered by superstition, tradition, and all sorts of fixed ideas. Some of the contemporaries of Columbus thought a round earth preposterous. Others came near putting Galileo to death for his astronomical heresies.
Are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material?
<<<>>>
We have found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the realm of spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive, never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all...
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS - 1. p. 51 - 2. p. 46
From AS BILL SEES IT copyright AAWS
Walk a Mile
Sometimes we forget to take the time to recognize the richness that defines our lives. This may be because many of the messages we encounter as we go about our affairs prompt us to think about what we don’t have rather than all the abundance we do enjoy. Consequently, our gratitude exists in perpetual conflict with our desire for more, whether we crave time, convenience, wealth, or enlightenment. Yet understanding and truly appreciating our blessings can be as simple as walking a mile in another’s shoes for a short period of time. Because many of us lead comparatively insular lives, we may not comprehend the full scope of our prosperity that is relative to our sisters and brothers in humanity.
If you find taking an inventory of your life’s blessings difficult, consider the ease with which you nourish your body and mind, feed your family, move from place to place, and attend to tasks at hand. For a great number of people, activities you may take for granted, such as attaining an education, buying healthy food, commuting to work, or keeping a clean house, represent great challenges.
To experience firsthand the complex tests others face as a matter of course in their daily lives, try living without the amenities you most often take for granted. This can be a great experiment to undertake with your entire family or a classroom. Understanding working poverty can be as easy as endeavoring to buy nutritious foods with a budget of $100 for the week. If you own a car, relying on public transportation for even just a day can help you see the true value of the comfort and conveniences others do without. As you explore a life without things you may normally take for granted,! ask yourself for how long you could endure.
The compassionate gratitude that floods your heart when you come to fully realize your abundance may awaken pangs of guilt in your heart. Be aware, however, that the purpose of such an experiment is to open your heart further in gratitude and compassion. This awareness can help you attain a deeper level of gratitude that will allow you to savor and, above all, appreciate your life with renewed grace.
From DailyOM - Nurturing Mind Body & Spirit
If you find taking an inventory of your life’s blessings difficult, consider the ease with which you nourish your body and mind, feed your family, move from place to place, and attend to tasks at hand. For a great number of people, activities you may take for granted, such as attaining an education, buying healthy food, commuting to work, or keeping a clean house, represent great challenges.
To experience firsthand the complex tests others face as a matter of course in their daily lives, try living without the amenities you most often take for granted. This can be a great experiment to undertake with your entire family or a classroom. Understanding working poverty can be as easy as endeavoring to buy nutritious foods with a budget of $100 for the week. If you own a car, relying on public transportation for even just a day can help you see the true value of the comfort and conveniences others do without. As you explore a life without things you may normally take for granted,! ask yourself for how long you could endure.
The compassionate gratitude that floods your heart when you come to fully realize your abundance may awaken pangs of guilt in your heart. Be aware, however, that the purpose of such an experiment is to open your heart further in gratitude and compassion. This awareness can help you attain a deeper level of gratitude that will allow you to savor and, above all, appreciate your life with renewed grace.
From DailyOM - Nurturing Mind Body & Spirit
February 11, 2007
Letting Go of Sadness
A block to joy and love can be unresolved sadness from the past.
In the past, we told ourselves many things to deny the pain: It doesn't hurt that much.... Maybe if I just wait, things will change.... It's no big deal. I can get through this.... Maybe if I try to change the other person, I won't have to change myself.
We denied that it hurt because we didn't want to feel the pain.
Unfinished business doesn't go away. It keeps repeating itself, until it gets our attention, until we feel it, deal with it, and heal. That's one lesson we are learning in recovery from codependency and adult children issues.
Many of us didn't have the tools, support, or safety we needed to acknowledge and accept pain in our past. It's okay. We're safe now. Slowly, carefully, we can begin to open ourselves up to our feelings. We can begin the process of feeling what we have denied so long - not to blame, not to shame, but to heal ourselves in preparation for a better life. It's okay to cry when we need to cry and feel the sadness many of us have stored within for so long. We can feel and release these feelings.
Grief is a cleansing process. It's an acceptance process. It moves us fromour past, into today, and into a better future - a future free of sabotaging behaviors, a future that holds more options than our past.
God, as I move through this day, let me be open to my feelings Today, help me know that I don't have to either force or repress the healing available to me in recovery. Help me trust that if I am open and available, the healing will happen naturally, in a manageable way.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
In the past, we told ourselves many things to deny the pain: It doesn't hurt that much.... Maybe if I just wait, things will change.... It's no big deal. I can get through this.... Maybe if I try to change the other person, I won't have to change myself.
We denied that it hurt because we didn't want to feel the pain.
Unfinished business doesn't go away. It keeps repeating itself, until it gets our attention, until we feel it, deal with it, and heal. That's one lesson we are learning in recovery from codependency and adult children issues.
Many of us didn't have the tools, support, or safety we needed to acknowledge and accept pain in our past. It's okay. We're safe now. Slowly, carefully, we can begin to open ourselves up to our feelings. We can begin the process of feeling what we have denied so long - not to blame, not to shame, but to heal ourselves in preparation for a better life. It's okay to cry when we need to cry and feel the sadness many of us have stored within for so long. We can feel and release these feelings.
Grief is a cleansing process. It's an acceptance process. It moves us fromour past, into today, and into a better future - a future free of sabotaging behaviors, a future that holds more options than our past.
God, as I move through this day, let me be open to my feelings Today, help me know that I don't have to either force or repress the healing available to me in recovery. Help me trust that if I am open and available, the healing will happen naturally, in a manageable way.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
February 10, 2007
How to Tie Up Your Loose Ends
"1. Identify the five people with whom you have the most unresolved issues. These could be past relationships, employers, business partners, friends, family, or co-workers. These are people you avoid talking with and running into.
2. Contact each of these five loose ends. Invite each separately to a coffee shop or some other nonthreatening, nonalcohol environment. Tell each one that you want to apologize for allowing things to get crossways between you. Even if she was the one who hurt you, tell her you want to move on...
3. Show up on time and thank each for being forgiving enough to meet with you. Tell each person that you want to apologize for whatever you did that hurt him (even if you don't completely agree with his view of the situation)...Listen to each issue each of them raise and try to see it from their perspectives. Don't interrupt them when they are sharing. Seek to understand why they harbor bad feelings toward you. Apologize for each thing they think you did to wrong them. If you're nervous about apologizing, go ahead and practice in a mirror before each meeting.
4. At the end of the conversation, thank each once again for talking with you. It was a big show of faith in your character. Plus, she's helping you to move toward your dreams by tying up loose ends in your past. The next day, send her a handwritten card thanking her for reconnecting. You can then decide whether or not to stay in touch."
Read more in this article from Beliefnet.com
2. Contact each of these five loose ends. Invite each separately to a coffee shop or some other nonthreatening, nonalcohol environment. Tell each one that you want to apologize for allowing things to get crossways between you. Even if she was the one who hurt you, tell her you want to move on...
3. Show up on time and thank each for being forgiving enough to meet with you. Tell each person that you want to apologize for whatever you did that hurt him (even if you don't completely agree with his view of the situation)...Listen to each issue each of them raise and try to see it from their perspectives. Don't interrupt them when they are sharing. Seek to understand why they harbor bad feelings toward you. Apologize for each thing they think you did to wrong them. If you're nervous about apologizing, go ahead and practice in a mirror before each meeting.
4. At the end of the conversation, thank each once again for talking with you. It was a big show of faith in your character. Plus, she's helping you to move toward your dreams by tying up loose ends in your past. The next day, send her a handwritten card thanking her for reconnecting. You can then decide whether or not to stay in touch."
Read more in this article from Beliefnet.com
The Paradoxes of Recovery
1. We SURRENDER TO WIN.
On the face of it, surrendering certainly does not seem like winning. But it is in AA. Only after we have come to the end of our rope, hit a stone wall in some aspect of our lives beyond which we can go no further; only when we hit "bottom" in despair and surrender, can we accomplish sobriety, which we could never accomplish before. We must, and we do, surrender in order to win.
2. We GIVE AWAY TO KEEP.
That seems absurd and untrue. How can you keep anything if you give it away? But in order to keep whatever it is we get in AA, we must go about giving it away to others, for no fees or rewards of any kind. When we cannot afford to give away what we have received so freely in AA, we had better get ready for our next "drunk." It will happen every time. We've got to continue to give it away in order to keep it.
3. We SUFFER TO GET WELL.
There is no way to escape the terrible suffering of remorse and regret and shame and embarrassment which starts us on the road to getting well from our affliction. There is no new way to shake out a hangover. It's painful. And for us necessarily so. . . We suffer to get well.
4. We DIE TO LIVE.
That is a beautiful paradox straight out of the Biblical idea of being "born again" or "in losing one's life to find it." When we work at our Twelve Steps, the old life of guzzling and fuzzy thinking, and all that goes with it, gradually dies, and we acquire a different and a better way of life. As our shortcomings are removed, one life of us dies, and another life of us lives. We in AA die to live.
c. 2003 AAWS, Experience, Strength and Hope, p. 156
On the face of it, surrendering certainly does not seem like winning. But it is in AA. Only after we have come to the end of our rope, hit a stone wall in some aspect of our lives beyond which we can go no further; only when we hit "bottom" in despair and surrender, can we accomplish sobriety, which we could never accomplish before. We must, and we do, surrender in order to win.
2. We GIVE AWAY TO KEEP.
That seems absurd and untrue. How can you keep anything if you give it away? But in order to keep whatever it is we get in AA, we must go about giving it away to others, for no fees or rewards of any kind. When we cannot afford to give away what we have received so freely in AA, we had better get ready for our next "drunk." It will happen every time. We've got to continue to give it away in order to keep it.
3. We SUFFER TO GET WELL.
There is no way to escape the terrible suffering of remorse and regret and shame and embarrassment which starts us on the road to getting well from our affliction. There is no new way to shake out a hangover. It's painful. And for us necessarily so. . . We suffer to get well.
4. We DIE TO LIVE.
That is a beautiful paradox straight out of the Biblical idea of being "born again" or "in losing one's life to find it." When we work at our Twelve Steps, the old life of guzzling and fuzzy thinking, and all that goes with it, gradually dies, and we acquire a different and a better way of life. As our shortcomings are removed, one life of us dies, and another life of us lives. We in AA die to live.
c. 2003 AAWS, Experience, Strength and Hope, p. 156
February 09, 2007
Resentments Rot; Forgiveness Heals
I must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter of form, but in my heart. I do this not for the other persons' sake, but for my own sake. Resentment, anger, or a desire to see someone punished, are things that rot my soul.
Such things fasten my troubles to me with chains. They tie me to other problems that have nothing to do with my original problem.
c. 1990 AAWS, Daily Reflections, p. 88
Such things fasten my troubles to me with chains. They tie me to other problems that have nothing to do with my original problem.
c. 1990 AAWS, Daily Reflections, p. 88
The Power & Beauty of the 23rd Psalm
Over the centuries, millions of people have found solace and peace in the words and meaning of the 23rd Psalm. Its most familiar translation is from the King James version of the Bible:
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
For a truly inspirational interpretation of the wisdom of the psalm, read or listen to a recording of The Lord Is My Shepherd by Harold S. Kushner
Experience the power and comfort of the 23rd Psalm in this Beliefnet.com audiovisual devotional.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
For a truly inspirational interpretation of the wisdom of the psalm, read or listen to a recording of The Lord Is My Shepherd by Harold S. Kushner
Experience the power and comfort of the 23rd Psalm in this Beliefnet.com audiovisual devotional.
Release the Shoulds; Keep the Want To's
When someone tells us we should do something, do we want to do it, or do we feel mad that someone else is telling us what we want to do? Sometimes we forget that these messages are not our own, but are the desires of others. It's important to listen to what we tell ourselves, to be aware of which messages we're giving ourselves and which come from others.
We can make a list of all our shoulds and identify where they came from: parent, boss, friend, self. Then we can decide which shoulds are want to's, and throw out the rest. Doing what we want to is very different from doing what we should, and we can usually do a better job of it.
Have I freed myself of shoulds today?
From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
We can make a list of all our shoulds and identify where they came from: parent, boss, friend, self. Then we can decide which shoulds are want to's, and throw out the rest. Doing what we want to is very different from doing what we should, and we can usually do a better job of it.
Have I freed myself of shoulds today?
From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Positive Thinking Leads to Positive Values
Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.
--Gandhi
Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.
--Gandhi
February 08, 2007
Progress not Perfection
Acceptance and faith are capable of producing 100 per cent sobriety. In fact, they usually do; and they must, else we could have no life at all. But the moment we carry these attitudes into our emotional problems, we find that only relative results are possible. Nobody can, for example, become completely free from fear, anger, and pride.
Hence, in this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love. So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very gradual progress, punctuated sometimes by very heavy setbacks. Our oldtime attitude of "all or nothing" will have to be abandoned.
GRAPEVINE, MARCH 1962
From "As Bill Sees It" Copyright AAWS
Hence, in this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love. So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very gradual progress, punctuated sometimes by very heavy setbacks. Our oldtime attitude of "all or nothing" will have to be abandoned.
GRAPEVINE, MARCH 1962
From "As Bill Sees It" Copyright AAWS
A Path to Faith
True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33
My last drunk had landed me in the hospital, totally broken. It was then that I was able to see my past float in front of me. I realized that, through drinking, I had lived every nightmare I had ever had. My own self-will and obsession to drink had driven me into a dark pit of hallucinations, blackouts and despair. Finally beaten, I asked for God's help. His presence told me to believe. My obsession for alcohol was taken away and my paranoia has since been lifted. I am no longer afraid. I know my life is healthy and sane.
From Daily Reflections ©Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.©
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33
My last drunk had landed me in the hospital, totally broken. It was then that I was able to see my past float in front of me. I realized that, through drinking, I had lived every nightmare I had ever had. My own self-will and obsession to drink had driven me into a dark pit of hallucinations, blackouts and despair. Finally beaten, I asked for God's help. His presence told me to believe. My obsession for alcohol was taken away and my paranoia has since been lifted. I am no longer afraid. I know my life is healthy and sane.
From Daily Reflections ©Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.©
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
