December 03, 2008

Check in with God

"'The smarter a man is the more he needs God to protect him from thinking he knows everything.'
--George Webb, PIMA

'A spiritual person needs to be careful. The more confident we are, the more likely our egos will get us into trouble. It's relatively easy to become self-righteous. We start to think we are teachers and others are students. We start to judge others. We start, very subtlely at first, to play God. After a while we really get good at it. This is very dangerous. We need to remind ourselves, we are here to do God's will. We need to pray every morning. Each day we need to check in with God to see what He would have us do. At night we need to spend time with God and review our day. By doing these things, we will stay on track.

'My Creator, guide my path and show me how to correct my life."

Elder's Meditation of the Day from White Bison.

Open to Possibilities

"'Perhaps for the first time, we see a vision of our new life.' Basic Text p. 34

'In our addiction, our vision of ourselves was very limited. Each day, we went through the same routine: getting, using, and finding ways and means to get more. And that's all we could reasonably expect for the duration of our lives. Our potential was limited.

'Today, our prospects are changed. Recovery has given us a new vision of ourselves and our lives. We are no longer trapped in the endlessly gray routine of addiction. We are free to stretch ourselves in new ways, trying out new ideas and new activities. In doing so, we come to see ourselves in a new way. Our potential is limited only by the strength of the Higher Power that cares for us-and that strength has no limits.

'In recovery, life and everything in it appears open to us. Guided by our spiritual principles, driven by the power given us by the God of our understanding, our horizons are limitless.

'Just for today: I will open my eyes to the possibilities before me. My potential is as limitless and as powerful as the God of my understanding.Today, I will act on that potential."

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.

November 22, 2008

Let Me Be Intimate

"'It's the most precious thing...to know absolutely where you belong. There's a whole emotional wrapping-around-of-you here. You see the same rock, tree, road, clouds, sun -- you develop a nice kind of intimacy with the world around you. To be intimate is to grow, to learn...[it] is absolutely fulfilling. Intimacy, that's my magic word for why I live here.'
--Tessie Maranjo, SANTA CLARA PUEBLO

"Every human being, to be mentally healthy, must have the feeling of belonging. When we have a sense of belonging we can be intimate. We can feel. We can connect. If we cannot develop this feeling of belonging, then we will feel lost of disconnected. To be disconnected from life is like walking around during the day not knowing the Sun exists. To have the feelings of intimacy is warm, glowy, joyful, loving and connected. The feeling this Elder is talking about is available to everyone.

"Great Spirit, let me be intimate."

From White Bison

November 14, 2008

So Much Depends on My Attitude

"Our...happiness...[is] not necessarily determined by what happens to us in our lives, but how we perceive what happens to us.

Life happens. It happens all day, every day, and there really isn't much we can do to stop it from doing so. With all of our interactions with other people, it's inevitable that someone, some time, is going to do something that hurts us in some way. Some things are going to happen that make it seem like the world is conspiring against us. But the important thing about that, of course, is how we perceive the occurrences, how we see what happens to us.

"If we take the world and its happenings with a grain of salt, we can keep in mind that things really aren't that bad, that everything is a matter of degree. In that perspective lies a realistic view of the world that can allow us to take the things that happen with a high degree of equanimity, with a pragmatism that tells us that yes, things may be going poorly, but life is a series of cycles, and things always come around for the better unless we don't allow them to do so. Many of us do, in fact, keep the better things from happening simply because we get so caught up in the bad things that we tend to perpetuate them in our lives, often unconsciously.

"You don't always have control over the occurrences of your life, but you most certainly do have control over your perspective, over how you see things. What are you going to do with that perspective--train it to see the positive side of everything, or allow it to drag you with it when it focuses only on the negative?...

"For further thought:

'Remember, a small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye and it puts everything out of focus. Hold it at proper viewing distance and it can be examined and classified. Throw it at your feet and see it in its true setting--just one more tiny bump on the pathway.'

--Barbara Johnson"

From Living Life Fully

November 13, 2008

Circle of Self-Examination, Prayer & Meditation

"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 98

"If I do my self-examination first, then surely, I'll have enough humility to pray and meditate -- because I'll see and feel my need for them. Some wish to begin and end with prayer, leaving the self-examination and meditation to take place in between, whereas others start with meditation, listening for advice from God about their still hidden or unacknowledged defects. Still others engage in written and verbal work on their defects, ending with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving. These three -- self-examination, meditation and prayer -- form a circle, without a beginning or an end. No matter where, or how, I start, I eventually arrive at my destination: a better life."

from Daily Reflections
Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.

Surrender Leads to Acceptance

"'We surrender quietly and let the God of our understanding take care of us.'
--Basic Text p. 26

"Surrender and acceptance are like infatuation and love. Infatuation begins when we encounter someone special. Infatuation requires nothing but the acknowledgement of the object of our infatuation. For infatuation to become love, however, requires a great deal of effort. That initial connection must be slowly, patiently nurtured into a lasting, durable bond.

"It's the same with surrender and acceptance. We surrender when we acknowledge our powerlessness. Slowly, we come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can give us the care we need. Surrender turns to acceptance when we let this Power into our lives. We examine ourselves and let our God see us as we are. Having allowed the God of our understanding access to the depths of ourselves, we accept more of God's care. We ask this Power to relieve us of our shortcomings and help us amend the wrongs we've done. Then, we embark on a new way of life, improving our conscious contact and accepting our Higher Power's continuing care, guidance, and strength.

"Surrender, like infatuation, can be the beginning of a lifelong relationship. To turn surrender into acceptance, however, we must let the God of our understanding take care of us each day.

"Just for today: My recovery is more than infatuation. I have surrendered."

Just For Today Daily Meditation
Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.

November 10, 2008

Maintain Contact with the Memory of the Pain


"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 24~

Pupils in the Great School of Life

"I don't think happiness or unhappiness is the point. How do we meet the problems we face? How do we best learn from them and transmit what we have learned to others, if they would receive the knowledge?

"On my view, we of this world are pupils in a great school of life. It is intended that we try to grow, and that we try to help our fellow travelers to grow in the kind of love that makes no demands. In short, we try to move toward the image and likeness of God as we understand Him.

"When pain comes, we are expected to learn from it willingly, and help others to learn. When happiness comes, we accept it as a gift, and thank God for it."

Letter, 1950
from "As Bill Sees It"
Is Happiness The Goal?, p. 306

August 25, 2008

Ready to Serve

"God is making use of you - you should be grateful He's found a use for you."
--Mathew King, LAKOTA

The Creator can only create through human beings. Each human being has a purpose given to us by the Creator. We are on this earth to fulfill this purpose. Our only work is to make ourselves ready, to become a channel, to perform for the Creator. We prepare ourselves by prayer. We prepare ourselves by becoming unselfish. We prepare ourselves by seeking and choosing to walk on a spiritual path. Each morning we look to the east and we say an honor prayer to the Creator. We offer our gifts: tobacco and corn. We ask him to help us do His will for today. In this simple way, we still fulfill our purpose. It should be an honor to serve the Creator.

Great Spirit, today I am ready to serve You.

Elder's Meditation of the Day - August 25 from White Bison

August 18, 2008

I Will Think Healing Thoughts

When you feel anger or resentment, ask God to help you feel it, learn from it, and then release it. Ask God to bless those who you feel anger toward. Ask God to bless you too.

When you feel fear, ask God to take it from you. When you feel misery, force gratitude. When you feel deprived, know that there is enough.

When you feel ashamed, reassure yourself that who you are is okay. You are good enough.

When you doubt your timing or your present position in life, assure yourself that all is well; you are right where you're meant to be. Reassure yourself that others are too.

When you ponder the future, tell yourself that it will be good. When you look back at the past, relinquish regrets.

When you notice problems, affirm there will be a timely solution and a gift from the problem.

When you resist feelings or thoughts, practice acceptance. When you feel discomfort, know it will pass. When you identify a want or a need, tell yourself it will be met.

When you worry about those you love, ask God to protect and care for them. When you worry about yourself, ask God to do the same.

When you think about others, think love. When you think about yourself, think love.

Then watch your thoughts transform reality.

Today, I will think healing thoughts.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Walking Meditation

by Sayadaw U. Pandita

During a retreat it is usual to alternate periods of sitting meditation with periods of formal walking meditation of about the same duration, one after another throughout the day. One hour is a standard period, but forty-five minutes can also be used. For formal walking, retreatants choose a lane of about twenty steps in length and walk slowly back and forth along it. In daily life, walking meditation can also be very helpful. A short period -- say ten minutes -- of formal walking meditation before sitting serves to focus the mind. Beyond this advantage, the awareness developed in walking meditation is useful to all of us as we move our bodies from place to place in the course of a normal day.

Walking meditation develops balance and accuracy of awareness as well as durability of concentration. One can observe very profound aspects of the Dhamma (wisdom or knowledge) while walking, and even get enlightened! In fact, a yogi who does not do walking meditation before sitting is like a car with a rundown battery. He or she will have a difficult time starting the engine of mindfulness when sitting.

Walking meditation consists of paying attention to the walking process. If you are moving fairly rapidly, make a mental note of the movement of the legs, "Left, right, left, right" and use your awareness to follow the actual sensations throughout the leg area. If you are moving more slowly, note the lifting, moving, and placing of each foot. In each case you must try to keep your mind on just the sensations of walking. Notice what processes occur when you stop at the end of the lane, when you stand still, when you turn and begin walking again.

Do not watch your feet unless this becomes necessary due to some obstacle on the ground; it is unhelpful to hold the image of a foot in your mind while you are trying to be aware of sensations. You want to focus on the sensations themselves, and these are not visual. For many people it is a fascinating discovery when they are able to have a pure, bare perception of physical objects such as lightness, tingling, cold, and warmth.

Usually we divide walking into three distinct movements: lifting, moving, and placing the foot. To support a precise awareness, we separate the movements clearly, making a soft mental label at the beginning of each movement, and making sure that our awareness follows it clearly and powerfully until it ends. One minor but important point is to begin noting the placing movement at the instant that the foot begins to move downward.

A New World in Sensations

Let us consider lifting. We know its conventional name, but in meditation it is important to penetrate behind that conventional concept and to understand the true nature of the whole process of lifting, beginning with the intention to lift and continuing through the actual process, which involves many sensations.

Our effort to be aware of lifting the foot must neither overshoot the sensation nor weakly fall short of this target. Precise and accurate mental aim helps balance our effort. When our effort is balanced and our aim is precise, mindfulness will firmly establish itself on the object of awareness. It is only in the presence of these three factors -- effort, accuracy, and mindfulness -- that concentration develops. Concentration, of course, is collectedness of mind, one-pointedness. Its characteristic is to keep consciousness from becoming diffuse or dispersed.

As we get closer and closer to this lifting process, we will see that it is like a line of ants crawling across the road. From afar the line may appear to be static, but from closer up it begins to shimmer and vibrate. And from even closer the line breaks up into individual ants, and we see that our notion of a line was just an illusion. We now accurately perceive the line of ants as one ant after another ant, after another ant. Exactly like this, when we look accurately at the lifting process from beginning to end, the mental factor or quality of consciousness called "insight" comes nearer to the object of observation. The nearer insight comes, the clearer the true nature of the lifting process can be seen. It is an amazing fact about the human mind that when insight arises and deepens through vipassana (or insight) meditation practice, particular aspects of the truth about existence tend to be revealed in a definite order. This order is known as the progress of insight.

The first insight that meditators commonly experience is to begin to comprehend -- not intellectually or by reasoning, but quite intuitively -- that the lifting process is composed of distinct mental and material phenomena occurring together, as a pair. The physical sensations, which are material, are linked with, but different from, the awareness, which is mental. We begin to see a whole succession of mental events and physical sensations, and to appreciate the conditionality that relates mind and matter.

We see with the greatest freshness and immediacy that mind causes matter -- as when our intention to lift the foot initiates the physical sensations of movement, and we see that matter causes mind -- as when a physical sensation of strong heat generates a wish to move our walking meditation into a shady spot. The insight into cause and effect can take a great variety of forms; but when it arises, our life seems far more simple to us than ever before. Our life is no more than a chain of mental and physical causes and effects. This is the second insight in the classical progress of insight.

As we develop concentration we see even more deeply that these phenomena of the lifting process are impermanent, impersonal, appearing, and disappearing one by one at fantastic speed. This is the next level of insight, the next aspect of existence that concentrated awareness becomes capable of seeing directly.

There is no one behind what is happening; the phenomena arise and pass away as an empty process, according to the law of cause and effect. This illusion of movement and solidity is like a movie. To ordinary perception it seems full of characters and objects, all the semblances of a world. But if we slow the movie down we will see that it is actually composed of separate, static frames of film.

Discovering the Path by Walking

When one is very mindful during a single lifting process -- that is to say, when the mind is with the movement, penetrating with mindfulness into the true nature of what is happening -- at that moment, the path to liberation taught by the Buddha opens up. The Buddha's Noble Eightfold Path, often known as the Middle Way or Middle Path, consists of the eight factors of right view or understanding, right thought or aim, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration.

During any moment of strong mindfulness, five of the eight path factors come alive in consciousness. There is right effort; there is mindfulness; there is one-pointedness or concentration; there is right aim; and as we begin to have insight into the true nature of the phenomena, right view also arises. And during a moment when these five factors of the Eightfold Path are present, consciousness is completely free from any sort of defilement.

As we make use of that purified consciousness to penetrate into the true nature of what is happening, we become free of the delusion or illusion of self, we see only bare phenomena coming and going. When insight gives us intuitive comprehension of the mechanism of cause and effect, how mind and matter are related to one another, we free ourselves of misconceptions about the nature of phenomena. Seeing that each object lasts only for a moment, we free ourselves of the illusion of permanence, the illusion of continuity. As we understand impermanence and its underlying unsatisfactoriness, we are freed from the illusion that our mind and body are not suffering.

This direct seeing of impersonality brings freedom from pride and conceit, as well as freedom from the wrong view that we have an abiding self. When we carefully observe the lifting process, we see mind and body as unsatisfactory and so are freed from craving. These three states of mind -- conceit, wrong view, and craving -- are called "the perpetuating dhammas." They help to perpetuate existence in samsdra, the cycle of craving and suffering that is caused by ignorance of ultimate truth. Careful attention in walking meditation shatters the perpetuating dhammas, bringing us closer to freedom.

You can see that noting the lifting of one's foot has incredible possibilities! These are no less present in moving the foot forward and in placing it on the ground. Naturally, the depth and detail of awareness described in these walking instructions should also be applied to noting the abdominal movement in sitting, and all other physical movements.

Five Benefits of Walking Meditation

The Buddha described five additional, specific benefits of walking meditation. The first is that one who does walking meditation will have the stamina to go on long journeys. This was important in the Buddha's time, when bhikkhus and bhikkhunis, monks and nuns, had no form of transportation other than their feet and legs. You who are meditating today can consider yourselves to be bhikkhus, and can think of this benefit simply as physical strengthening.

The second benefit is that walking meditation brings stamina for the practice of meditation itself. During walking meditation a double effort is needed. In addition to the ordinary, mechanical effort needed to lift the foot, there is also the mental effort to be aware of the movement -- and this is the factor of right effort from the Noble Eightfold Path. If this double effort continues through the movements of lifting, pushing and placing, it strengthens the capacity for that strong, consistent mental effort all yogis know is crucial to vipassana practice.

Thirdly, according to the Buddha, a balance between sitting and walking contributes to good health, which in turn speeds progress in practice. Obviously it is difficult to meditate when we are sick. Too much sitting can cause many physical ailments. But the shift of posture and the movements of walking revive the muscles and stimulate circulation, helping prevent illness.

The fourth benefit is that walking meditation assists digestion. Improper digestion produces a lot of discomfort and is thus a hindrance to practice. Walking keeps the bowels clear, minimizing sloth and torpor. After a meal, and before sitting, one should do a good walking meditation to forestall drowsiness. Walking as soon as one gets up in the morning is also a good way to establish mindfulness and to avoid a nodding head in the first sitting of the day.

Last, but not least, of the benefits of walking is that it builds durable concentration. As the mind works to focus on each section of the movement during a walking session, concentration becomes continuous. Every step builds the foundation for the sitting that follows, helping the mind stay with the object from moment to moment -- eventually to reveal the true nature of reality at the deepest level.

This is why I use the simile of a car battery. If a car is never driven, its battery runs down. A yogi who never does walking meditation will have a difficult time getting anywhere when he or she sits down on the cushion. But one who is diligent in walking will automatically carry strong mindfulness and firm concentration into sitting meditation.

I hope that all of you will be successful in completely carrying out this practice. May you be pure in your precepts, cultivating them in speech and action, thus creating the conditions for developing samadhi and wisdom.

May you follow these meditation instructions carefully, noting each moment's experience with deep, accurate and precise mindfulness, so that you will penetrate into the true nature of reality. May you see how mind and matter constitute all experiences, how these two are interrelated by cause and effect, how all experiences are characterized by impermanence, unsatisfactoriness and absence of self so that you may eventually realize nibbana -- the unconditioned state that uproots mental defilements -- here and now.

This article is excerpted from In This Very Life, ©1991, by Saddhamma Foundation. Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Wisdom Publications. www.wisdompubs.org

About the Author:
Sayadaw U Pandita is the abbot of Panditarama Monastery and Meditation Center in Rangoon, Burma. One of the renowned teachers in the tradition of Mahasi Sayadaw, he teaches from his own profound meditation experience, his 62 years of monastic training, and his extensive studies of the Pali texts. He has taught meditation worldwide since 1951.

Willingness the Size of a Mustard Seed

A.A. Thought For The Day

"We of agnostic temperament have found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which we call God. As soon as you can say that you do believe or are willing to believe, you are on your way. Upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built." Am I willing to depend on a Power that I cannot fully define or comprehend?

Meditation For The Day

We seek God's presence and "they who seek shall find." It is not a question of searching so much as an inner consciousness of the Divine spirit in your heart. To realize God's presence you must surrender to His will in the small as well as in the big things of life.

This makes God's guidance possible. Some things separate you from God--a false word, a fear-inspired failure, a harsh criticism, a stubborn resentment. These are the things that put a distance between your mind and God. A word of love, a selfless reconciliation, a kind act of helpfulness--these bring God closer.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may think and say and do the things that bring God closer to me. I pray that I may find Him in sincere prayer, a kind word, or an unselfish deed.

from Twenty-Four Hours A Day copyright AAWS

June 12, 2008

a Stopping and Starting Problem

I remember telling a friend years ago that I didn't have a drinking problem, I had a stopping problem. We laughed. It was true, but there was something else going on, something that never occurred to me until I came to AA. I didn't just have a stopping problem. I had a starting problem too. No matter how often I stopped, or for how long, I always started drinking again.

© 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 372-373

Thought to Ponder . . .
If you want to quit drinking, you are going to have to quit drinking.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
K I S S = Keep It Simple, Surrender.

AA Thought for the Day (courtesy www.AAOnline.net)

June 09, 2008

Uncomplicated and Free

Today's thought for the day from Hazelden is:

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

The Prodigal Son took his journey into a far country and wasted his substance with riotous living. That is what those of us with afflictions do. The story continues that, when the son came to himself, he arose and went to his father. We do that, too, when we become a part of this program. That is when we come to our senses. The person steeped in distress is not the real self. The sane, sober, straight, rational, respectable person is the real self. Our involvement with our group has brought us happiness and a better self-image. Have I come to see myself in a better light?

MEDITATION FOR THE DAY

Simplicity is the keynote of a good life. Choose the simple things always. Life can become complicated if you let it become so. You can be swamped by difficulties if you let them take up too much of your time. Every difficulty can be either solved or ignored. Something better can be substituted for it. Love the humble things of life and revere the simple things. Your standard must never be the world's standard of wealth and power. These are ultimately sheer deception.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY

I pray that I may love the simple things of life. I pray that I may keep my life uncomplicated and free.

You are reading from the book:

Look to this Day by Alan L. Roeck. Copyright 1978 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

April 27, 2008

Writing as a Spiritual Experience

Writing can be a true spiritual discipline. Writing can help us to concentrate, to get in touch with the deeper stirrings of our hearts, to clarify our minds, to process confusing emotions, to reflect on our experiences, to give artistic expression to what we are living, and to store significant events in our memories. Writing can also be good for others who might read what we write.

Quite often a difficult, painful, or frustrating day can be "redeemed" by writing about it. By writing we can claim what we have lived and thus integrate it more fully into our journeys. Then writing can become lifesaving for us and sometimes for others too.

--Henri Nouwen

Setting Boundaries

Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns.

Negative energy can have a powerful pull on us, especially if we're struggling to maintain positive energy and balance. It may seem that others who exude negative energy would like to pull us into the darkness with them. We do not have to go. Without judgment, we can decide it's okay to walk away, okay to protect ourselves.

We cannot change other people. It does not help others for us to get off balance. We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them.

Today, God, help me to know that I don't have to allow myself to be pulled into negativity -- even around those I love. Help me set boundaries. Help me know it's okay to take care of myself.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

April 26, 2008

Progress in Humility and Responsibility

All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 271

To acknowledge and respect the views, accomplishments and prerogatives of others and to accept being wrong shows me the way of humility. To practice the principles of A.A. in all my affairs guides me to be responsible. Honoring these precepts gives credence to Tradition Four--and to all other Traditions of the Fellowship. Alcoholics Anonymous has evolved a philosophy of life full of valid motivations, rich in highly relevant principles and ethical values, a view of life which can be extended beyond the confines of the alcoholic population. To honor these precepts I need only to pray, and care for my fellow man as if each one were my brother.

from Daily Reflections copyright AAWS

April 25, 2008

Rewards of Meditation and Prayer

"Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless. We know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter."

Bill W., Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 105
As Bill Sees It, p. 117

Thought to Consider . . .

Prayer is asking a question; meditation is listening to the answer.

AA Thoughts for Today

April 10, 2008

the Power of Self Acceptance

"Self-esteem and the ego are inversely related; like a see-saw, when one goes up the other goes down. Self-esteem, though, is not an all-or-nothing proposition; rather, it runs along a spectrum with many shades of gray. And the more self-esteem we have, the more "reality" we let in, and so the more clearly we can see our lives and the impact of our choices...

"When we lack self-esteem, we are often unable to look at ourselves as the cause of the problem, because we cannot afford to be wrong emotionally. Instead of conceding that we erred, we prefer to believe that "The world is unfair," or "People are crooked." Thus, the seedlings of neuroses and paranoia take root. Before our conscious mind is forced to accept an unpleasant reality, we may also realign values...something has to give. (While most people with low self-esteem will refuse to accept responsibility, those with even more extreme low self-esteem may beat themselves up and become angry and annoyed with themselves. Healthy self-esteem allows a person to recognize his mistakes, without condemning himself OR the world.)

..."A person who is emotionally unwell reacts to conflicts in the following ways: "You are wrong," or "This is just how I am." There is little room for, "I was wrong," the acknowledgment of personal responsibility. Such a person deflects the world and his own insecurities and, in the process, grows weaker, because the psychological self can only develop through acceptance. This is our emotional immune system. In the person who lacks self-esteem, the deflection response engages at all times. Everything is considered a threat to his psychological security.

"Every time we refuse to acknowledge the truth about any aspect of ourselves (or condemn ourselves for being imperfect), we send the unconscious message, 'I am inadequate.'

..."Denying the truth does not make it go away. It makes us -- the real us -- go away. If we are completely honest with ourselves (and by extension, with others), then the ego does not engage. It only survives and thrives in a world of falsehood. Unless we can accept ourselves, we cannot see past ourselves. We are too busy judging, blaming, and distorting our world.

"Once we have fully accepted something about ourselves or our lives, we no longer need to hide from it. We don't care who knows about it or who finds out, and we don't allow the reality to hold us back. At this point, our fears dissolve, because there is no longer a threat of exposing ourselves... The truth, once embraced, can never be bruised or injured, yet a delusion can be shattered by a whisper or a glance.

"There is nothing wrong in seeing ourselves as less than perfect; it is honest and healthy. This is a far cry from the person who sees his imperfections and then condemns himself as worthless or lacking. Unless we can accept ourselves, we cannot see past ourselves. We are too busy judging, blaming, and distorting our world..."

Read more in Rising Above Our Nature, Part One from which the foregoing was quoted.

Complacency: Too Busy for Recovery

"We must use what we learn or we will lose it, no matter how long we have been clean." Basic Text, p. 82

After putting some clean time together, some of us have a tendency to forget what our most important priority is. Once a week or less we say, "I've gotta get to a meeting tonight. It's been.. " We've been caught up in other things, important for sure, but no more so than our continued participation in Narcotics Anonymous.

It happens gradually. We get jobs. We reunite with our families. We're raising children, the dog is sick, or we're going to school at night. The house needs to be cleaned. The lawn needs to be mowed. We have to work late. We're tired. There's a good show at the theater tonight. And all of a sudden, we notice that we haven't called our sponsor, been to a meeting, spoken to a newcomer, or even talked to God in quite a while.

What do we do at this point? Well, we either renew our commitment to our recovery, or we continue being too busy to recover until something happens and our lives become unmanageable. Quite a choice! Our best bet is to put more of our energy into maintaining the foundation of recovery on which our lives are built. That foundation makes everything else possible, and it will surely crumble if we get too busy with
everything else.

Just for today: I can't afford to be too busy to recover I will do something today that sustains my recovery.

Just For Today Copyright Narcotics Anonymous

Slip Sliding Away

"Slips can often be charged to rebellion; some of us are more rebellious than others. Slips may be due to the illusion that one can be 'cured' of alcoholism. Slips can also be charged to carelessness and complacency. Many of us fail to ride out these periods sober. Things go fine for two or three years--then the member is seen no more.

Some of us suffer extreme guilt because of vices or practices that we can't or won't let go of. Too little self-forgiveness and too little prayer--well, this combination adds up to slips.

"Then some of us are far more alcohol-damaged than others. Still others encounter a series of calamities and cannot seem to find the spiritual resources to meet them. There are those of us who are physically ill. Others are subject to more or less continuous exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. These conditions often play a part in slips--sometimes they are utterly controlling."

Copyright ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC. - As Bill Sees It

February 21, 2008

Came to Believe

In shame and despair, I went to my first AA meeting. By some minor miracle, I was able to suspend opinion, analysis, judgment, and criticism, and instead to listen and hear. I heard someone say that AA works for those who work it, those who put action into the program.

For me, at that time, action consisted of simply showing up at an AA meeting and following the suggestions I heard. I heard that I should forget about yesterday and tomorrow and instead concentrate on today and staying away from the first drink today -- now. I tried it, and it worked.

The first step in the process of "coming to believe" had been taken.

c. 1973 AAWS, Came To Believe . . ., p. 42

Thought to Ponder . . .
I came; I came to; I came to believe.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A B C = Acceptance, Belief, Change.

AA Thought for the Day (courtesy AAOnline.net)

February 19, 2008

Me, Irrational? That's Not Rational

Few indeed are the practicing alcoholics who have any idea how irrational they are, or seeing their irrationality, can bear to face it. Some will be willing to term themselves "problem drinkers," but cannot endure the suggestion that they are in fact mentally ill. They are abetted in this blindness by a world which does not understand the difference between sane drinking and alcoholism.

"Sanity" is defined as "soundness of mind." Yet no alcoholic, soberly analyzing his destructive behavior, whether the destruction fell on the dining-room furniture or his own moral fiber, can claim "soundness of mind" for himself.

c. 1953 AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp. 32-33

Thought to Ponder . . .
Many things can be preserved with alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

AA Thought for the Day(courtesy AAOnline.net)

February 18, 2008

Alcohol is Poison to the Alcoholic

Alcohol is poinson to the alcoholic. Poison is not too strong a word, because alcoholism leads eventually to the death of the alcoholic. It may be a quick death or a slow death. When we go by package stores and see various kinds of liquor all dressed up in fancy packages to make it look attractive, we should always make it a point to say to ourselves so we'll never forget it: "That stuffs all poison to me." And it is. Alcohol poisoned our lives for a long time. Do I know that since I'm an alcoholic all liquor is poison to me?

from "Twenty-Four Hours A Day" -- ©Hazelden Foundation.

February 13, 2008

a Mustard Seed

Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

"'You can, if you wish, make A.A. itself your "higher power." Here's a very large group of people who have solved their alcohol problem. In this respect they are certainly a power greater than you, who have not even come close to a solution. Surely you can have faith in them. Even this minimum of faith will be enough. You will find many members who have crossed the threshold just this way. All of them will tell you that, once across, their faith broadened and deepened. Relieved of the alcohol obsession, their lives unaccountably transformed, they came to believe in a Higher Power, and most of them began to talk of God.'"

© 1952, AAWS, Inc.Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pgs. 27-28

February 02, 2008

the Disease Concept and Moral Responsibility

"Some strongly object to the A.A. position that alcoholism is an illness. This concept, they feel, removes moral responsibility from alcoholics. As any A.A. knows, this is far from true. We do not use the concept of sickness to absolve our members from responsibility. On the contrary, we use the fact of fatal illness to clamp the heaviest kind of moral obligation onto the sufferer, the obligation to use A.A.'s Twelve Steps to get well.

"In the early days of his drinking, the alcoholic is often guilty of irresponsibility. But once the time of compulsive drinking has arrived, he can't very well be held fully accountable for his conduct. He then has an obsession that condemns him to drink, and a bodily sensitivity to alcohol that guarantees his final madness and death.

"But when he is made aware of this condition, he is under pressure to accept A.A.'s program of moral regeneration."

--Bill W., from a talk given in 1960, from As Bill Sees It

Really Real


“In the Big Book, it says that ‘most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics’ [p. 30]. When I hit my bottom, I was broken in every area. A.A. gently, slowly removed the garbage from my spirit—the hate, the resentment—and then began to heal my heart with real love, real respect and real trust.”

from Box 459, the GSO bi-monthly bulletin of Alcoholics Anonymous

January 31, 2008

Cut Off at the Pass

A.A. Thought for the Day

A drinking life isn't a happy life. Drinking cuts you off from other people and from God. One of the worst things about drinking is the loneliness. And one of the best things about A.A. is the fellowship.

Drinking cuts you off from other people, at least from the people who really matter to you, your family, your coworkers, and your real friends. No matter how much you love them, you build up a wall between you and them by your drinking. You're cut off from any real companionship with them. As a result, you're terribly lonely. Have I gotten rid of my loneliness?

Meditation for the Day

I will sometimes go aside into a quiet place of retreat with God. In that place, I will find restoration and healing and power. I will plan quiet times now and then, times when I will commune with God and arise rested and refreshed to carry on the work that God has given me to do. I know that God will never give me a load greater than I can bear. It is in serenity and peace that all true success lies.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may strengthen my inner life, so that I may find serenity. I pray that my soul may be restored in quietness and peace.

from "Twenty-Four Hours A Day" ©Hazelden Foundation
via12StepSoulFoodForTheSpirit

the Love Thought System

There are two systems of thought that are available for us to choose from. One is the love-thought system and the other is the fear-thought system. If we choose love, we will see the laws, principles and values of the Creator. If we choose fear, the results will be so paralyzing that it will cause us to take over and not rely on the Great Spirit. The fear-thought system will automatically cause attack, conflict, need to control over others. The love-thought system seeks peace of mind, unity and causes us to be love seekers.

Great Spirit, today let me see only love.

From WhiteBison.org

January 27, 2008

Happiness is Available if We Work For It

We're all after the same thing, and that's happiness. We want peace of mind. The trouble with us alcoholics was this: We demanded that the world give us happiness and peace of mind in just the particular way we wanted to get it -- by the alcohol route.

And we weren't successful.

But when we take time to find out some of the spiritual laws, and familiarize ourselves with them, and put them into practice, then we do get happiness and peace of mind. . . . There seem to be some rules that we have to follow, but happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone.

c. 1980 AAWS, Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, p. 308
AA Thought for the Day (courtesy AAOnline.net)

January 26, 2008

Dealing with Difficult People

"Do you remember the story of St. Francis and the leper? St. Francis loathed the leper. He couldn't bear to see him around, even though he felt guilty about feeling that way. However, one day, a great feeling of compassion swept over him. He put his arms around the leper, blessed him, and expressed his love for him. According to the story, the leper was healed and St. Francis healed of his loathing for the leper.

"Sometimes we find it as hard to bless and forgive someone as it must have been for St. Francis. But he put his arms around that body covered with sores and both were healed. The same thing happens to us when we put love to work in healing a relationship crisis. Everyone gets healed.

"When we are dealing with difficult people it's hard to look at them, the loathsome ones, and say in our minds all the good things we are supposed to say. We are advised to forgive when it's so much easier to bear a grudge. If we forgave, we would have to give up the feeling of being a victim. We would have to give up our favorite stories. It would be hard to do. We've worked on them a long time, perfecting them, getting the sequence of events in the right order, omitting nothing...

"When we are faced with adifficult person or problem, it is important that the decisions we make and actions we take must not be out of panic and anger, but out of quietness and an inward look for divine guidance. We tend to become consumed by our problems. We dwell on the ugliness of the person who is giving us so much trouble, and lose sight of the fact that every problem person provides us with an opportunity to practice what we preach. There is a solution to every difficult situation. We forget that this too shall pass...

"We can be a victim or we can take courage from the knowledge that God is right in the center of the situation, and work on the solution. When we use universal principles in solving a problem, it is solved in the most wonderful way. Divine Mind, God, has this loving way which allows us to grow through everyday situations, and to experience joy when we finally understand that it was all a cosmic puzzle for us to solve.

"Do you have a problem person or persons in your life? Give thanks for them and the valuable lessons they have to teach you. Give thanks for them and the lessons learned. The Universe will say, 'Well done, now, here's another one for you handle. Let's see what you learn from thisone.'"

from Getting It Right This Time by Dr. Delia Sellers. Visit her website at http://www.abundant.atfreeweb.com

January 25, 2008

At One with the Spirit

A.A. Thought for the Day

In A.A. we're all through with lying, hangovers, remorse, and wasting money. When we were drinking, we were only half alive. Now that we're trying to live decent, honest, unselfish lives, we're really alive. Life has a new meaning for us, so that we can really enjoy it. We feel that we're some use in the world. We're on the right side of the fence, instead of on the wrong side. We can look the world in the face instead of hiding in alleys. We come into A.A. to get sober and if we stay long enough, we learn a new way of living. Am I convinced that no matter how much fun I got out of drinking, that life never was as good as the life I can build in A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

I want to be at one with the Divine Spirit of the universe. I will set my deepest affections on things spiritual, not on things material. As we think, so we are. So I will think of and desire that which will help, not hinder, my spiritual growth. I will try to be at one with God. No human aspiration can reach higher than this.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may think love, and love will surround me. I pray that I may think health, and health will come to me.

From Daily Reflections ©Hazelden Foundation

Constructive Review of Character Defects

"Also ask your heart to purify and cleanse this defect and harmful desire. Ask also the help of the inner father and mother. Every time we eliminate a defect, we build our soul, our inner temple. We ascend. like going up a stairway."
--Willaru Huayata, QUECHUA NATION, PERU

The building blocks to knowledge and wisdom are constructed through the lessons of our character defects if we constructively review our conduct each day, asking where we are resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid. Remember, we need to review constructively, not destructively. Destructive review is when we ask, "what's the matter with me anyway." or "how could I be so stupid?" These question lead to morbid reflection or remorse and seriously affect our self esteem. In constructive review we ask, "what will I do next time?" With constructive review we progressively eliminate the defect and replace it with wisdom.

My Creator, allow me to have my defects because through them I gain in knowledge of Your will.

Elder's Meditation from White Bison

January 22, 2008

The 12 Steps We Arrived With

1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone who would allow us.

2. We came to believe that there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.

3. We made a decision to have our loved ones turn their wills and their lives over to our care even though they couldn't understand us at all.

4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone we knew.

5. We admitted to the whole world the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.

6. We were entirely ready to make others give us the respect we deserved.

7. We demanded others do our will because we were always enlightened.

8. We made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any lengths to get even with them all.

9. We got direct revenge on such people wherever possible, except when to do so would cost us our lives or at the very least a jail sentence.

10. Continued to take inventory of others and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.

11. Sought through complaining and medication to improve our relations with others, as we would not understand them at all, asking only that they do things our way.

12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.

January 14, 2008

Anger is an Emotion, Nothing More

Anger is one of the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And we're going to feel it when it comes our way -- or else repress it.
--Codependent No More

If I were working a good program, I wouldn't get angry.... If I were a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry.... If I were really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry.... Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it.

In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it.

Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to.

Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

January 09, 2008

Turning Points

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone.

At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.


Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing -- and able -- to change.


from Daily Reflections Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.

Travel On

Sometimes we have to "step over" our anger, our jealousy, or our feelings of rejection and move on. The temptation is to get stuck in our negative emotions, poking around in them as if we belong there. Then we become the "offended one," "the forgotten one," or the "discarded one." Yes, we can get attached to these negative identities and even take morbid pleasure in them. It might be good to have a look at these dark feelings and explore where they come from, but there comes a moment to step over them, leave them behind and travel on.

--Henri Nouwen

January 06, 2008

Guide My Footsteps

"When we're through with this earth and all these problems, we don't have to come back. But as long as we're here we have a job to do and a purpose to fulfill and that means dealing with the circumstances around us."
--Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE

We are put on the earth to participate in life. We have a beautiful mind, we have the ability to pray, we have the ability to change, we have the ability to accept, and we have choices. All things God created are constantly changing. This constant change causes our circumstances to change. Sometimes we say life is difficult. During these times we need to use our tools: the tools of prayer, and the tools of meditation. We are designed to change and live joyfully on this earth. The only requirement for living joyfully is to live according to the laws, principles and values given to us by the Creator.

Great Spirit, give me Your courage today, and guide my footsteps.

Elder's Meditation of the Day from White Bison

January 03, 2008

Avoid Tripping Over Molehills

"Sometimes when we pray, a remarkable thing happens: We find the means, ways, and energies to perform tasks far beyond our capacities." Basic Text p. 44

Coping successfully with life's minor annoyances and frustrations is sometimes the most difficult skill we have to learn in recovery. We are faced with small inconveniences daily. From untangling the knots in our children's shoelaces to standing in line at the market, our days are filled with minor difficulties that we must somehow deal with.

If we're not careful, we may find ourselves dealing with these difficulties by bullying our way through each problem or grinding our teeth while giving ourselves a stern lecture about how we should handle them. These are extreme examples of poor coping skills, but even if we're not this bad there's probably room for improvement.

Each time life presents us with another little setback to our daily plans, we can simply take a deep breath and talk to the God of our understanding. Knowing we can draw patience, tolerance, or whatever we need from that Power, we find ourselves coping better and smiling more often.

Just for today: I will take a deep breath and talk to my God whenever I feel frustrated.

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©1991 by World Service Office Inc.