March 21, 2007

Disrupt the Cycle of Anger with Forgiveness

"Anger and resentment drain your energy, and keep you imprisoned by your past. By choosing to let go of your hurt and anger, you give yourself the freedom to fully experience joy in life. Anger builds inside us, so by letting go, you improve your ability to control your anger. We've all seen the person who blows up at the smallest incident. It is the accumulation of built up anger that is unreleased that causes this explosion. So many diseases, like heart disease and cancer, can be triggered by unresolved resentment. By choosing to forgive, you can dramatically improve your emotional and physical health.

Without forgiveness, you cannot move forward in your own personal and relational growth.

What is not forgiveness? Forgiveness does not mean you allow people to treat you badly. It does not mean you ignore the wrongdoings. It means you accept that the person has made a mistake, and you are choosing to grant them mercy. When you forgive someone, you won't necessarily forget the hurt. I will always remember the pain I felt when my mom disowned me, but I do not dwell on it, and I do not let it interfere with the quality of our relationship today. I have allowed myself to heal and move on. Forgiveness does not mean you are condoning or excusing the person's behavior. And it doesn't mean you have to trust that person again. Some acts, like physical and sexual abuse, require that you limit your trust or at least test the trust with the person who hurt you. Remember, forgiveness is more for you than the other person...

Each of us makes mistakes in life. At one time or another (probably more than one time), we will hurt another person. Maybe it will be an accident, or perhaps it will be a purposeful reaction to someone hurting you. When this does happen, do you want to be forgiven? Do you want another chance to make amends? Most people don't mean to hurt us - they are dealing with their own pain and unresolved resentment. It's unfortunate that we take it out on our loved ones, but until we break the cycle, it will continue to happen.

Are you ready to break the cycle and do your part to forgive?"

From Forgiveness - Breaking the Cycle of Resentment - by Lori RadunCopyright © 2006 Lori Radun, CEC

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