July 28, 2005

Stop Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

"Focusing On Negative Possibilities

Many people, who find themselves in a good situation, look suspiciously around for the catch. Or they unconsciously brace themselves for the bad that they believe must necessarily follow the good. It's easy to believe that positive fortune is too good to last and that happiness is always fleeting. But waiting for the other shoe to drop or for the rug to be pulled out from under your feet isn't healthy. Always focusing on the negative possibilities can put you on edge and even invite those negative possibilities in. While you remain hyper vigilant, you necessarily must wait, doing your best to protect yourself from uncertain events. It becomes more difficult to enjoy happiness and success when you are on guard against what's coming next. There are, however, steps you can take to confront a tendency to focus on the 'other shoe' by confronting your feelings and discovering what is standing in the way of optimism.

The fear that happiness is temporary is often rooted in the subconscious mind and past experiences that have fostered a pessimistic outlook. We are often afraid to trust in our own potential or feel guilty when our lives go too well because we don't believe we deserve success. But the truth is that we do and that there is no reason that a boon must be followed by a loss. When you find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop, ask yourself if there is a strong possibility of something negative happening, or if your mind has conjured up the fear that your positive situation cannot last. If your subconscious is telling you that you don't deserve happiness, counter it by reaffirming your worth. Put a motivational affirmation on display in your home or office, or create a positive mantra, then focus on the present. The future is unknown, give yourself permission to enjoy the things going well for you right now.

It may take time for you to fully believe that you have control over your own happiness and that you can hold on to that happiness without worrying about what the future will bring. You may want to remember that you have more control over your life than you may realize. The 'other shoe' may drop or it may not, but it is your own attitude that will ultimately let you hold on to the result of good things in life, while letting the bad things go."

From this DailyOM post.

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