Overcoming Self-Sabotage

From this Daily OM:

"Each one of us is blessed with the ability to want. Some desire to achieve financial success, some to change the world, and others simply desire to change themselves for the better. Each one of us also has the power to make what we want become reality. Often, however, we subtly undermine our efforts by refusing support, adopting an air of ambivalence, over-committing, being indecisive, or listening to our doubts. This is self-sabotage. Sometimes it's not a deficiency of desire, intelligence, skill, or effort that is holding you back, but an internal tug-of-war based on fear. You know what you want from life but consciously or sub-consciously get in the own way of your efforts. There is a conflict between your desires and your feelings of worth and entitlement.

Self-sabotaging behavior can affect your motivation and your drive. You may drown your strong desires in television or food, avoid facing potentially challenging situations, or simply retreat inward. Accepting challenges, growing, making tough decisions, and working hard can seem truly frightening. It is easier to continue doing what you've always done. But the more you turn away from the means to achieve your life's dreams, the more your self-esteem and confidence is damaged. In that way, self-sabotage is cyclical. You shy away from getting what you want and then believe you lack the ability to get what you want. Self-sabotage can inspire feelings of depression, frustration, discouragement, and even anger because you are working against yourself. If you feel you have sabotaged your own efforts, remember and write down times in which you did so. Don't use the information to judge yourself. Rather, try to avoid similarly sabotaging yourself in the future.

Then, recognize that all worthwhile goals will take patience, organization, work, and a measure of confidence. Self-sabotage nearly always comes from feelings of inadequacy or underservedness, but those feelings can be overcome by giving yourself an extra portion of nurturing and love when you're working out a problem or formulating a long-term plan. All wants are special and valid and learning to overcome self-sabotage is an important part of achieving what you desire."