September 12, 2005

Let in the Love

"Many of us have difficulty accepting compliments because we subconsciously believe that we are not worthy of them. A compliment triggers our discomfort of believing that if the complimenters knew the truth about us, they would find the contrary. We do not recognize that the person who compliments us is closer to the truth than we are.

There are many ways in which we deflect love when it's offered. We say no to money when it's available, and we sabotage jobs. We deal similarly with relationships, running from quality people, acting in ways that we know will make them leave, or settling for less than we want and deserve. In sexuality, we may stop ourselves from receiving real pleasure or experiencing orgasm because we fear feeling vulnerable or being overwhelmed by the energy of the love. Then, we go on living at half-steam and wonder why we are not happy.

We can cultivate our capacity to receive and enjoy love. Practice letting compliments in. Instead of firing off a polite "Thank you," take a breath and a moment to let the gift seep in; this will energize you and bless the giver. When offered money or support, gratefully accept. In relationships and sexuality, don't settle for half-fulfillment; cultivate being filled with the gifts your partner brings. Then we can all be wholly beautiful and lovable, no matter how many of us there are. Honor God and yourself, by letting the love in."

--Alan Cohen

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