Forgive Yourself as well as Others

AS BILL SEES IT

Start by Forgiving

The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us. Triumphantly we seize upon his slightest misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own.

Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. Let's remember that alcoholics are not the only ones bedeviled by sick emotions. In many instances we are really dealing with fellow sufferers, people whose woes we have increased.

If we are about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all?

TWELVE AND TWELVE, p. 78
Copyright®1967 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive others -- also myself.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 268

Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others are just two currents in the same river, both hindered or shut off completely by the dam of resentment. Once that dam is lifted, both currents can flow. The Steps of A.A. allow me to see how resentment has built up and subsequently blocked off this flow in my life. The Steps provide a way by which my resentments may -- by the grace of God as I understand Him -- be lifted. It is as a result of this solution that I can find the necessary grace which enables me to forgive myself and others.

©Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.©

STEP FIVE

Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 58

What a great feeling forgiveness is! What a revelation about my emotional, psychological and spiritual nature. All it takes is willingness to forgive; God will do the rest.

©Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.©